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Song Parodies -> "The Twelve Days of Court Case"
Original Song Title:
"The Twelve Days of Christmas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"The Twelve Days of Court Case"
Parody Written by:
Tim Mayfield
The Lyrics
On the first day of court case my lawyer gave to me
A higher than market price fee
On the second day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Two covert bugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the third day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Three bad cops
Two bloody gloves
And a higher than market price fee
On the fourth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Four racial cards
Three rich friends
Two bucks for drugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the fifth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Five dual meanings
Four "That's absurd"
Three if whens
Two seedy pubs
And a higher than market price fee
On the sixth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Six thoughts on slaying
Five carat bling
Four overheards
Three depends
Two bad tape dubs
And a higher than market price fee
On the seventh day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Seven jurors primming
Six jurors naying
Five juror names
Four tips whispered
Three amens
Two "It's humid"
And a higher than market price fee
On the eighth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Eight lawyers sleeping
Seven bailiffs grinning
Six neighbors praying
Five blame heapings
Four office perks
Three big dreams
Two Nike plugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the ninth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Nine witness rantings
Eight mothers weeping
Seven witness slammings
Six right/wrong grayings
Five court room stings
Four pretty words
Three state pens
Two shoulder shrugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the tenth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Ten facts misleading
Nine proofs of planting
Eight tests for cheating
Seven partners beaming
Six bills for paying
Five other things
Four jurors bought
Three wineskins
Two moonshine jugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the eleventh day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Eleven clerks out sulking
Ten PI's creeping
Nine spicy hot wings
Eight late night meetings
Seven coffers brimming
Six acts betraying
Five fat chicks sing
Four ex-jailbirds
Bad defense
Two "That's the rub"
And a higher than market price fee
On the twelfth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Twelve papers typing
Eleven newsmen talking
Ten wardens reading
Nine lawyer slantings
Eight grand they're keeping
Seven sham games running
Six-gun displaying
Five gunshots ring
Four lawyers fall
Three cops drop
Two shoot me down
I won't pay that ridiculous fee
A higher than market price fee
On the second day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Two covert bugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the third day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Three bad cops
Two bloody gloves
And a higher than market price fee
On the fourth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Four racial cards
Three rich friends
Two bucks for drugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the fifth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Five dual meanings
Four "That's absurd"
Three if whens
Two seedy pubs
And a higher than market price fee
On the sixth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Six thoughts on slaying
Five carat bling
Four overheards
Three depends
Two bad tape dubs
And a higher than market price fee
On the seventh day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Seven jurors primming
Six jurors naying
Five juror names
Four tips whispered
Three amens
Two "It's humid"
And a higher than market price fee
On the eighth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Eight lawyers sleeping
Seven bailiffs grinning
Six neighbors praying
Five blame heapings
Four office perks
Three big dreams
Two Nike plugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the ninth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Nine witness rantings
Eight mothers weeping
Seven witness slammings
Six right/wrong grayings
Five court room stings
Four pretty words
Three state pens
Two shoulder shrugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the tenth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Ten facts misleading
Nine proofs of planting
Eight tests for cheating
Seven partners beaming
Six bills for paying
Five other things
Four jurors bought
Three wineskins
Two moonshine jugs
And a higher than market price fee
On the eleventh day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Eleven clerks out sulking
Ten PI's creeping
Nine spicy hot wings
Eight late night meetings
Seven coffers brimming
Six acts betraying
Five fat chicks sing
Four ex-jailbirds
Bad defense
Two "That's the rub"
And a higher than market price fee
On the twelfth day of court case my lawyer gave to me
Twelve papers typing
Eleven newsmen talking
Ten wardens reading
Nine lawyer slantings
Eight grand they're keeping
Seven sham games running
Six-gun displaying
Five gunshots ring
Four lawyers fall
Three cops drop
Two shoot me down
I won't pay that ridiculous fee
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 21 | 22 | 21 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Super
Lol, this is a bit surreal. Great job on varying the lines too.
A captivating story!
LOL! 5's
Good stuff.
How about 3 Golden Fives.
Hilarious! Sounds like my brother's case last x-mas! H.D., is that you?
[SOTM] Brilliant - loved every line! 555
(SOTM) wow! the fact that you varied all but the last line in EVERY verse is astonishing - I would've run out of new ideas by the fifth day of Xmas - great stuff Tim - 555
(SOTM) I am freakin' impressed, and echo all of Stu's sentiments. Not only did you change every word in every verse, it built to a slambang climax. A top runner for SOTM in my vote.
(SOTM) Lol, this was great 5's
(SOTM) What I said above, and what everyone else said too, except I don't have a brother who was in litigation. Perfect pacing, rhyming and much better than TOS.
SOTM: All too true, trust me I would know...
"12 Days" parodies that present a whole new list each verse are GENIUS. (You can quote me on that.) Fun stuff, Tim. At first I thought it was about OJ, but by the end, I realized it was about YOU.
There can't be too many lawyer parodies, and this one does an excellent job of spoofing their ambulance chasing, publicity seeking, and and other self-enriching characteristics.
(SOTM) I love the way with each verse, the things change. For example, first it was two covert bugs, then two bloody gloves.
(SOTM) Great stuff :-D
Excellent - and can I second Spaff's comment about the genius quotient of 12 days songs that have a whole new list each verse ;-)
(SOTM) This is probably the best 12 days parody i've seen, especially since most don't really bother with much pacing or variation. I can especially appreciate the effort on this because i tried it a couple of months ago, got through 5 days, tried to submit the unfinished version considering it had more substance than most 12 days parodies, but it didn't get through.
(SOTM) Gotta agree with all the others, Peter...to vary each verse and STILL make it funny takes some doing, and you pulled it off BIG time. High 5s
I've really gotta stop drinking from petrol tanks...sorry, TIM!!
(SOTM) This one is a bit weird but very good. I especially like the last "day"!
Great work mixing up the majority of the chorus, Tim. I also like the way the narrative emerged through the song.
(SOTM) Sounds like a job for Denny Crane and Merry Pason!
What everybody else said. Plus I loved some of the clever matches to the original, especially in that last verse. Great stuff.
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