I'm starved for plum wine, unRhônely plum wine.
Some say it's sappy 'cause it's not grape.
I'll never know beer, and Scotch, I'll snub you.
My mate says, "Your mouth you should tape."

I get so tight, dear, when I am drinking;
I kink arm tilted at my side.
Some dissolution!--once for a whole year
My lips never once were dried.

I'm scarfing plum wine, gallons of plum wine--
Makes me so happy, I go and drape
Myself on my dear and say, "I love you."
My mate says, "You act like an ape!"

She says she'll go, scram, live with her mother
If a program won't intervene
And make me sober as my dear brother
With whom she's in the sheets between.

I'm barfing plum wine, gallons of plum wine;
The intervention man says, "Rape-
Seed oil gets gut clear of plum residue.
"Now, hear motivational tape!"