ROFLMAO!! That was vile...but ridiculously funny! 555

Phil - I picture oodles of poodle-poop puddles here. 5's and I sca-doodling out the door to get away from the poodle-piles. Seems I'm destined to run for odors today. There is a Gas Company sub-station just south of my apartment building and at about 6:00 am this morning I awoke and noticed an extremely strong smell of Natural Gas odor (actually I guess it's really the odor agent they use so people are made cognizant of it's presence - Phil, you're the chemistry whiz, isn't that what they do? Add some sort of ___-picrin to the naturally odorless gas? Anyway, I threw on some clothes and grabbed my Wallet & ID/keys, etc., and high-tailed it downstairs - there is pipeline construction going on in the street right in front of my building and I confronted a worker there first, he directed me over to the little substation where 3 men were present. One laying on the ground fooling around with some valve and two others just kind of standing around. I asked what the hell was going on, told them there was an extremely strong Natural Gas odor permeating my apartment and easily detectable in the common courtyard area as well. This one guy kind of shrugged and said "Really?". I said, "Do you think I would be standing here at 6:00 in shower slippers yelling at you about it if it weren't? More shrugs...I said, "You don't seem concerned"...more shrugs...I said, "I would prefer not to be blown into kingdom come this morning if it is at all possible, what are you going to do about it?" He mumbled "that's probably not going to happen". and then something about blowing the odor away soon and it would be fine in 20 or 30 minutes...I said "PROBABLY NOT? That's just 4Great...does that mean it is safe or unsafe to be in that apartment building next door to this, considering the strong presence of that odor?" Shrugs again...so I split and got to a pay phone and called 911 and told them of my scent-ual experience and the subsequent encounter with "Men At Work" for the Gas Co., the Fire Dept. guy I was talking to got the address and said they would check it out. I waited 15 or 20 minutes - bought a few things at a nearby grocery store and then went home. Odor mostly dissipated...so here I am at my computer. Kind of annoyed and a bit shaken by the incident. Don't know if there was any real danger or not and was hesitant to panic the entire building if not. But what if?...I really don't know if I should have woke everybody up to warn them and it bothers me still...Guess I will call the Fire Dept. and ask what they determined when they checked out the site...

Sick, dude. 5's.

gee, bit of a violent ending there, Phil - a big ask for the vet to fix THAT little mess - sickly funny! - 555

I'm feeling nauseous..but humorously satisfied...555

:-)
Stuart - I wasn't really meaning *literally* inside-out...
Paul - the stuff you're thinking of that makes natural gas smelly is called mercapto-methanol CH3SH - mercaptans are like alcohols but with a sulphur atom in place of the oxygen, and are the smelliest compounds known to man. This might sound odd, but I hope you *were* worrying over nothing (it's better than the alternative).

Great job, Phil. I'd been trying to figure out how to do this one but couldn't.

Well, John, this one started out as "parrot collywobbles" - the idea struck when I heard my daughter doing it for her sax practice. And I've just noticed I forgot to add what I thought was one of the best lines: line 4 should be "Oh, no! collywobble poodle underlay". D'Oh!

Phil, don't spoil it for me! :-)

Well, Phil, all I know is the SMELL was very REAL this morning - VERY strong. But when I came back about 1/2 later it was also totally gone. Still, was I felt better getting out and I'm still glad I call the Fire Dept. to check it out. Just because some hung-over Gas Co. employee who apparently has no sense of smell left whatsoever tells you something is not a problem is no reason to disregard your instincts. I just remembered where that "picrin" thing came into my mind from. Something that had that word in It was used in the 1970's to add smell to the Fumigant Methyl Bromide, which was used at that time for House Fumigations to kill drywood termites. I don't know if Methyl Bromide is still being used at all, but without the added scent it was another odorless gas and extremely lethal. Wish I could remember the exact name...oh, well...

Phil's a maniac, maniac on keyboard!
And he's typin' like he's never typed before!

;-D

Hilarious, Phil, especially the chorus!

I love "scary an' / Expensive veterinarian" so I'm glad you repeated it six times. Heh heh. Oh, and now that I know what "collywobble" means, what's a poodle?

You've been on a bit of a catch-up this weekend, Spaff :-) A poodle is a member of the rat family that rich and fluffy owners perm and shave so that it looks totally ridiculous, and makes some people think it's actually a dog ;-) Take this for example: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/02/photogalleries/westminste­r/images/primary/Poodle_normal2.jpg
...and notice that the filename is actually "Poodle_normal"...