Gorge vittles down when belt is cinched—
you will find, it’s too tight.
Your gut will creep up and then leap over:
Make tension light.
You overeat—untighten
the buckle once or twice.
Then you’ll not fear what’s like a beer
gut…belt not tight as vise.

Gorge-dine and do not worry
about growing too plump.
Off you can creep to can that’s deep
and blow by chunks your lunch.

When gorging starts, no fretter
must you be about girth.
Also, don’t skimp on what you drink…
gallons of Swan from Perth.

Gorge swigging rounds, give not a “heck”—
euphemism I cite.
Your gut will creep up and then leap
over…don’t give a shite.
When you a lot swig, lighten
the buckle once or twice.
Then get in gear: Guzzle that beer
and absinthe over ice.
Abstinence you can ice.