We are a band of cowards
From violence we recoil
And when the cannon thunder
Our trousers we will soil
Should we receive the order
"Ride forth and meet the foe".
We'll turn around and ride for home
Oh, see how fast we go

Hurrah, hurrah, deserters take to flight
Hurrah for the sensible men who are too scared to fight

Here's to George McClellan
As good as generals come
We march around in circles
To the beating of a drum
And should some day by accident
The Rebel host be seen
We'll march straight north to Canada
And sing "God Save The Queen"

Hurrah, hurrah, you'll see us here no more
We'll hunker down in Ottawa until the battle's o'er

We have a new commander
Ulysses Simpson Grant
He promised Abe, "Yes, I shall fight"
We promised him, "We shan't"
Grant said, "Jump in the saddle
And draw your guns and knives"
We joined the great skeedaddle
A runnin' for our lives

Hurrah, hurrah, my feet just hit the ground
I'm running with the infantry, no horse to slow me down

The President has sent us here
To liberate the slaves
Instead of picking cotton
They're now digging soldiers' graves
"When you work that shovel, boy
You won't need one for me
I'll be a thousand miles from here
And still alive and free

Hurrah, hurrah, the President's decree
I'm taking the initiative, emancipating me

And when the war is over
And noble words are said
They'll place some marble tombstones
To mark the honored dead
I'll listen to the eulogies
Dressed in my Sunday suit
Then mingle with the rich old men
Who hired a substitute

Hurrah, hurrah, I'd rather drink a toast
To all the men who gave their lives, than join them as a ghost