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Song Parodies -> "I Don't Wanna Be a Zombie"
Original Song Title:
"I Don't Wanna Go to Army"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"I Don't Wanna Be a Zombie"
Parody Written by:
Susanna Viljanen
The Lyrics
I don't wanna be a zombie
I don't wanna be undead;
I'd rather stay alive with my hubby on my side
living off the food and drink, not human brainstuff
I don't want my flesh to rot all over
I dont' want my brains all sucked away -
And I rather trust my chainsaw
my good old, good old, chainsaw
to keep those undead living corpses away!
On a Monday I shot one with my shotgun
on a Tuesday I blew one with grenade
on a Wednesday, disgrace, I torched one ablaze,
on a Thursday I flamed one up with my old flamethrower
On a Friday I squashed one with bulldozer
on a Saturday I chopped one up with axe
on a Sunday after dinner I wielded chainsaw in there -
and splashed the zombie innards all around!
I don't wanna be undead;
I'd rather stay alive with my hubby on my side
living off the food and drink, not human brainstuff
I don't want my flesh to rot all over
I dont' want my brains all sucked away -
And I rather trust my chainsaw
my good old, good old, chainsaw
to keep those undead living corpses away!
On a Monday I shot one with my shotgun
on a Tuesday I blew one with grenade
on a Wednesday, disgrace, I torched one ablaze,
on a Thursday I flamed one up with my old flamethrower
On a Friday I squashed one with bulldozer
on a Saturday I chopped one up with axe
on a Sunday after dinner I wielded chainsaw in there -
and splashed the zombie innards all around!
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User Comments
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Xmas Zombies don't care if you've been naughty or nice-555! ;-)
Among gun enthusiasts here in the States there has been a zombie fad recently. One company makes Zombie ammo in several calibers. Ruger has a small pistol with "Zombie Slayer" in fluorescent green lettering on the slide. A friend showed me his rifle with the "Zombie Tracker" telescopic sight. In the aftermath of today's school shooting, I think there may be less of this trivialization of deadly firepower. I just received an email inviting me to audition for a role in a zombie film to be produced in Kansas City this winter.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with my breakfast, Susanna. Blerrrrk! Seriously, a lighthearted, fun little piece. I never really understood people's appetite for supernatural shlock-horror. Isn't reality enough? 555
I don't "get" the whole zombie craze either. On the other hand, humans being brain-dead *does* explain a lot of what happens these days. 555
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