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Song Parodies -> "If A Comic Dodges Tax..."
Original Song Title:
"If You're Happy And You Know It"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"If A Comic Dodges Tax..."
Parody Written by:
Wendy Christopher
The Lyrics
Okay, this is a little bit 'way after the event,' but it hit my antennae and I couldn't leave it alone, so...
For those not in the UK, the comedian Jimmy Carr was recently caught out using a tax scheme which meant he only had to pay about 1% income tax, as opposed to the 40% he should have been paying. On being caught out he immediately apologised, saying that he did it after taking the advice of his accountant, that the scheme is totally legal (which it is) and that he has since withdrawn from the scheme.
What most of the hoo-ha that's followed since concerns is PM David Cameron pitching in and saying that what Jimmy Carr did was 'morally wrong.' Yes, that's right - DAVID CAMERON. The man who not only has a ton of rich friends who use exactly the same type of schemes themselves to dodge even more tax, but steadfastly avoids plugging any of the tax loopholes that allow said friends to do this completely legally, as Jimmy Carr did. He basically tried to make Jimmy Carr the whipping boy because he's not a billionaire best mate that he owes a favour to - and has, quite rightly in my opinion, been branded a hypocrite for it. Anyway, here it is...
For those not in the UK, the comedian Jimmy Carr was recently caught out using a tax scheme which meant he only had to pay about 1% income tax, as opposed to the 40% he should have been paying. On being caught out he immediately apologised, saying that he did it after taking the advice of his accountant, that the scheme is totally legal (which it is) and that he has since withdrawn from the scheme.
What most of the hoo-ha that's followed since concerns is PM David Cameron pitching in and saying that what Jimmy Carr did was 'morally wrong.' Yes, that's right - DAVID CAMERON. The man who not only has a ton of rich friends who use exactly the same type of schemes themselves to dodge even more tax, but steadfastly avoids plugging any of the tax loopholes that allow said friends to do this completely legally, as Jimmy Carr did. He basically tried to make Jimmy Carr the whipping boy because he's not a billionaire best mate that he owes a favour to - and has, quite rightly in my opinion, been branded a hypocrite for it. Anyway, here it is...
If a comic dodges tax it’s ‘morally wrong’ (CLAP CLAP)
‘Call Me Dave’ went on tv and said it’s wrong (CLAP CLAP)
But if it’s one of his mates, it –
Seems the PM underrates it
And that’s why it’s still quite legal but it’s wrong (CLAP CLAP)
If the comic’s just a comic, well you know (STOMP STOMP)
He is not a banker or a CEO (STOMP STOMP)
So he cannot be forgave
Because he’s not a mate of Dave’s
And it’s not what you do these days but who you know (STOMP STOMP)
If the comic says he’s sorry, that’s the pits (NOD NOD)
‘Cause it means that his career won’t fall to bits (NOD NOD)
Says he won’t do it again
Well that’s just even worse ‘cause then
It draws attention to the non-repentant shits (NOD NOD)
Point your finger at the comic, shout ‘for shame!’ (FOR SHAME!)
Need a scapegoat? He’s the perfect one to blame (FOR SHAME!)
Daily Mail is out to get him
Let them help with the deflectin’
From the corps and p.l.c.s who do the same (FOR SHAME!)
If you’re dodging tax, well it’s a moral fail
(CLAP CLAP, STOMP STOMP, NOD NOD, FOR SHAME!)
But it’s legal so they won’t send you to jail
(CLAP CLAP, STOMP STOMP, NOD NOD, FOR SHAME!)
If it’s ‘immoral’ change the law
So they can’t do it anymore…
Nah – in government, ‘best friend’ship is for sale!
(CLAP CLAP, STOMP STOMP, NOD NOD, FOR SHAME!)
‘Call Me Dave’ went on tv and said it’s wrong (CLAP CLAP)
But if it’s one of his mates, it –
Seems the PM underrates it
And that’s why it’s still quite legal but it’s wrong (CLAP CLAP)
If the comic’s just a comic, well you know (STOMP STOMP)
He is not a banker or a CEO (STOMP STOMP)
So he cannot be forgave
Because he’s not a mate of Dave’s
And it’s not what you do these days but who you know (STOMP STOMP)
If the comic says he’s sorry, that’s the pits (NOD NOD)
‘Cause it means that his career won’t fall to bits (NOD NOD)
Says he won’t do it again
Well that’s just even worse ‘cause then
It draws attention to the non-repentant shits (NOD NOD)
Point your finger at the comic, shout ‘for shame!’ (FOR SHAME!)
Need a scapegoat? He’s the perfect one to blame (FOR SHAME!)
Daily Mail is out to get him
Let them help with the deflectin’
From the corps and p.l.c.s who do the same (FOR SHAME!)
If you’re dodging tax, well it’s a moral fail
(CLAP CLAP, STOMP STOMP, NOD NOD, FOR SHAME!)
But it’s legal so they won’t send you to jail
(CLAP CLAP, STOMP STOMP, NOD NOD, FOR SHAME!)
If it’s ‘immoral’ change the law
So they can’t do it anymore…
Nah – in government, ‘best friend’ship is for sale!
(CLAP CLAP, STOMP STOMP, NOD NOD, FOR SHAME!)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Any scheme to cut on tax would seem okay in my book...But I guess the upper bracket boys who can afford to kick in, should pay more. good rhyming and pacing, here.
Nice to see you back Wendy. Spot-on, so 555!
"So he cannot be forgave, because he’s not a mate of Dave’s". Heh heh heh :)
Excellent stuff, Wendy - though what you omitted to mention (and our American friends may not have seen) is that Carr's reaction to being caught out was to withdraw from the tax scheme pretty much immediately and apologise to everyone - something that Call Me Dave's friends (/certain members of Take That) have conspicuously failed to do.
..that second verse is spot on, and beautifully-rhymed
..that second verse is spot on, and beautifully-rhymed
Thanks for the comments, everyone - much appreciated!
@Phil - I think I put that about Jimmy in the bit at the top - but I have realised now (from multiple past experiences) that a lot of people don't really see that stuff because the lyrics are the main focus of the page - or perhaps they do see it and assume any italic-y bits are just incidental waffle, particularly if there's a lot of it ;)
I think it was disgusting the way he was singled out as the whipping boy for the whole thing - whilst all the others, including the ones you mentioned, got away with it and are probably even still doing it as we speak. I guess dodging tax is only 'immoral' if The Daily Mail are out to get you and you're not on 'call Me Dave's Christmas card list... *sigh*
@Phil - I think I put that about Jimmy in the bit at the top - but I have realised now (from multiple past experiences) that a lot of people don't really see that stuff because the lyrics are the main focus of the page - or perhaps they do see it and assume any italic-y bits are just incidental waffle, particularly if there's a lot of it ;)
I think it was disgusting the way he was singled out as the whipping boy for the whole thing - whilst all the others, including the ones you mentioned, got away with it and are probably even still doing it as we speak. I guess dodging tax is only 'immoral' if The Daily Mail are out to get you and you're not on 'call Me Dave's Christmas card list... *sigh*
Sorry, Wendy - don't know exactly how I missed that as I did read the bit at the top.. just managed to glance over the bit in the middle of the bit at the top.
Looks like you must have a Daily Mail journalist or possibly Cameron or Osborne reading this - can't see why anyone else would vote 1s
Looks like you must have a Daily Mail journalist or possibly Cameron or Osborne reading this - can't see why anyone else would vote 1s
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