Ladies, look out for an old guy named Pike
Like Will Rogers, there ain't a woman, don't like
The brasher, the better - desire, he has
To match up with his own brand of razzamatazz

He chases 'em skinny and chases 'em fat
Likes them with big bosoms or small perky flat
Shorter, or taller, the young and the old,
The loud and the quiet, the shy and the bold..

Pike is a throw back to Neanderthal
Hangs out in his man cave and drinks alcohol
Combs his long whiskers and beats on his chest
Strong man competitions, he'll come out the best

Harbors an obsession for enhancement pills
Levitra, Viagra, Cialis, instills
With his big libido, he's always on top
Why call a policeman, Pike was once a cop

He follows his ego and leaves 'em all weak
Girls gave it a nickname - they call it Pike's Peak
Forget those four hours, they warn on the jar
For twenty-four seven Pike's Peak is a star..

His romp is Milwaukee, Wiscon-Sin that is
He drives a big Harley with plenty of whiz
One gal rides in front and another in back
They can't wait to get old Pike's Peak in the sack

With parties, and rambles, too careless, became
And lost his big fifteen - min-utes of ill fame
He'd played some bad ho and was shot by her pimp,
Notched him right in the crotch, now it's nicknamed Pike's Limp