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Song Parodies -> "I Am a Deadly Armed Finnish Girl"

Original Song Title:

"I Am a Pretty Little Dutch Girl"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"I Am a Deadly Armed Finnish Girl"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Unlike most militaries around the world, Finnish female soldiers are allowed full combat infantry and special forces. They are participating in Afghanistan as peace-keepers and participate in Euro Battle training. Although the FSU crashed in the '90s, the threat is still there and any future war with Russia will see Finnish female soldiers fight. Females get an extra benefit in the FDF to buy personal hygiene items and some allowed feminine underwear- but not in the field AFAIK. The Valmet Rk.95 is the standard assault rifle issued, the M82 bullpup rejected... see pics below...
I am a deadly armed Finnish girl,
Always serving and ready,
The guys in the Puolustusvoimat
Wanna have sex with me,

My Valmet comes in handy,
When peace-keeping around Afghanis,
Serving with males is fair, but miss my underwear,
My satin panties first to go!!!

I am a deadly armed Finnish girl,
Always serving and ready,
The guys in the Puolustusvoimat
Wanna have sex with me,

My Valmet comes in handy,
When peace-keeping around Afghanis,
Serving with males is fair, but miss my underwear,
My satin panties first to go!!!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3341/3285482286_36e414b443.jpg http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/assault/as43/valmet_95_762.jpg

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Total Votes: 6

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User Comments

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Susanna Viljanen - September 30, 2011 - Report this comment
I loved this one. I come from more or less military family, and all the menfolks in my family have served in the Finnish forces. Women were first allowed to serve 1992 - I had just finished my studies at HUT, and I was just wee too old to enlist. When I was young, I had a crush with my cousin who became a F-18 pilot. He eventually married his high school sweetheart, and I learned to fly on my own. But if I had had foresight, I could just as well have joined the FinnAF myself.
Susanna Viljanen - September 30, 2011 - Report this comment
The right to serve for women was introduced by Minister of Defence Elisabeth Rehn. We had had a women's volunteer auxiliary force, Lotta Svärd, for non-combat duties, such as logistics, victuals, air defence, medical care and communications, already in WWII, but Minister Rehn, who herself had been a Lotta in WWII, expanded it also to combat duties. The change was quickly approved. A female soldier is called "kissa" ('cat') in the Finnish forces. Finnish hard rock band Popeda made a song "Kersantti Karoliina" (Sergeant Caroline) to parodize this - "I blame you, Elisabeth Rehn - my woman is now a lifer" is the famous stanza. See www.youtube.com/watch?v=cawQFCNbaXU&feature=related
Rob Arndt - September 30, 2011 - Report this comment
My Female Bundeswehr site: http://femalesoldiers.greyfalcon.us/femalesoldiers.htm
Susanna Viljanen - September 30, 2011 - Report this comment
The lady in the picture is wearing camouflage uniform M/05, nicknamed "cucumber salad". Her weapon is the trusty old RK-62, the predecessor of Valmet 95, which uses the same 7.62 mm short cartridge. She is wearing her hair long; the regulations state that hair must be "tidy" and if long, kept as either on ponytail or braided. The same applies also to boys - so the flattop haircut is not mandatory anymore! EU once complained that Finnish Army having the same physical standards for women and men is discriminatory. One of our female officers answered: "The enemy bullet is not going to ask if it is going to hit a boy or a girl. Sweat saves blood." On the underwear issue: own underwear may be used on field, if it is black, green, blue or camouflaged. The same applies to sleeping bags. Two civilian items are allowed when in uniform: spectacles and puukko (the traditional Finnish knife), which acts both as a tool and as a sidearm.
Rob Arndt - October 01, 2011 - Report this comment
I once dated a Finnish girl... odd... but not as nearly as odd as the Icelandic chick. BTW, how old are you Susanna if I may be so bold? You sound like a strong female and I like ;-D
Susanna Viljanen - October 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Rob, I wrote "At 33" to Janis Ian's "At Seventeen" in 2004, so you may do the math - unfortunately, I'm already married :) But the traditional idea of gender roles in Finland is that men are real men and women only slightly less hairy. Finland is way up in sixty north and the climate is hostile and soil is poor, so living here has meant always hard work for both genders - but also equality. My grandparents lived the inter-war years in US but returned to Finland just before WWII - it is mere chance I might be.American today.
Rob Arndt - October 01, 2011 - Report this comment
TY Susanna for the info. I still would like to visit Finland someday and you might find it funny that I have to explain to the avaition idiots here that Finland operates F-18s and not F/A-18s b/c they are land-based!!! And I am also sorry for badgering you ont he train info- as a Finn you should know we Germans can be ruthless and willful to the point of death!!! If you get a chance mayeb look up some of my ship wreck parodies. i love yours and if you have any suggestions on anything militarily Finnish, I can write it. My family on the German side has high respect for the Finns as their best Co-beliggerent but the LW stories crack me up on the Finnish hatred of the Bf 109 and despised the German showing off of 2-point landings vs the Finnish 3-points!!! But as I understand it the Finns loved the German weapons to kill the Soviets with and HAD to reach an agreemnt to save what land was left by turning against the Germans. Self-preservation.

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