I’d like to apologize to all my fans out there for taking so long to write another parody. I also would like to thank you, because if weren’t for the two of you’s I wouldn’t do what I do.




I
Spawned my first egg on Easter
When my love laid with me
By poking in my man tree


II
Found my second egg on Easter
Her father hid from me
In thorny brush
By a cartridge with a warning


III
Found my third egg on Easter
Her brother hid from me
While walking by,
Some dog doo,
And a voodoo doll effigy


IV
Found my fourth egg on Easter
Her uncle hid from me
Down in the dirt,
While peeking in,
A mole hole
At a grenade with the pin freed


V
Found my fifth egg on Easter
Her cousin hid from me
WHILE GOING PEE!
Next to some stones
All piled up
Right by a bush
And a rat trap under a leaf


VI
Found my sixth egg on Easter,
Her grandpa hid from me
Near these lawn clippings,
AND GASOLINE!
With unlit match
Under a lens
Out in the sun
Where there wasn’t any shade trees


VII
Found my seventh egg on Easter
Her nephew hid from me
By the garden compost
Danger was lurking
I DIDN’T SEE!
Till falling down
With sore head
Right where I stepped
On a rake with very sharp teeth


VIII
Found my eighth egg on Easter
Her nieces hid from me
Right by the tree house
Where I was climbing
Some nails where missing
I LOST FOOT-ING!
And fell upon
A rose bush
Where is was stung
By one large and very mad bee


IX
Found my ninth egg on Easter
Her sister hid to see
By the Jacuzzi
Under the panties
To her pink bikini
Lacey and smelling...
OF PERFUMING!
Her calling card
On which she penned
These shameless words
‘For a good time you can Call Me!’


X
Found my tenth egg on Easter
Her grandma hid from me
In poison Ivy
My skin was flaming
I looked so silly
Running through the sprinklers
To ease the burning
AND GROWING STING!
I shouted to
My girlfriend
Yo! gal of mine
Go get me some Calamine please


XI
Found my eleventh egg on Easter
Her Auntie hid from me
Inside a pool of water
I went a-wading
I felt a tingle
Before convulsing
My two arms hands were flailing
With bladder voiding
IN MY NEW JEANS!
Somehow a cord
Just fell in
Nobody knows
‘It’s just one shocking mystery’


XII
Found my twelfth egg on Easter
Her mother hatched for me
Out in the open
While no one else was looking
Under her bonnet
Her plan was cooking
She had an inkling
Call it intuition
Her girl was having
HER GRANDBABY!
Right then and there
With champagne
She made a toast
And even called me family!