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Song Parodies -> "Twelve Pains of Christmas"
Original Song Title:
"Twelve Days of Christmas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Twelve Pains of Christmas"
Parody Written by:
Paira Dees
The Lyrics
I know that Chuck Norris didn't do all of this stuff. Happy Holidays to you all, especially to good ol' Chuck.
On the first pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Destruction with only one knee.
On the second pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only own knee.
On the third pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fourth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fifth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the sixth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the seventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eighth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the ninth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the tenth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eleventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the twelfth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Twelve bodies crushing,
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee!
Chuck Norris sent to me
Destruction with only one knee.
On the second pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only own knee.
On the third pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fourth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the fifth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the sixth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the seventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eighth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the ninth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the tenth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the eleventh pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee.
On the twelfth pain of Christmas,
Chuck Norris sent to me
Twelve bodies crushing,
Eleven skulls a-cracking,
Ten guns a-shooting,
Nine combat kickings,
Eight tears a-sulking,
Seven teeth a-spitting,
Six punch a-hitting,
Five painful swings,
Four dying herds,
Three dead men,
Two knuckle shoves,
And destruction with only one knee!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 |
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