This old van, it seats four
We broke the handle off the door
With our punching, kicking
Jumping up and down
This old van is breaking down

This old van, it has holes
And lots of stains from jelly rolls
With our fighting, biting
Acting like a clown
This old van is breaking down

Our old man, he gets mad
Tells us that we're being bad
With our running, rolling
And never sitting down
This old van is breaking down

This old van, it drinks gas
And fingerprints are on the glass
From hands that we just
Have to move around
This old van is breaking down

This old van hates our guts
When we load up brats and mutts
With the chewing, tearing
Throwing weight around
This old van is breaking down

This old van has a floor
But we can't find it any more
Cause we keep on piling
Rubbish on the ground
This old van is breaking down

This old van has no class
Side windows are Plexiglas
And the windshield's cracks are
Art Nouveau or round
This old van is breaking down

This old van had its day
Somehow ain't yet thrown away
Though the crankshaft's the only
Part that makes no sound
This old van is breaking down

This old van we've been told
Isn't really all that old
But with constant abuse
When its driven 'round
This old van is breaking down

This old van, what a steal!
As long as you don't go uphill
Brakes are shot and traction
Never sticks around
This old van is breaking down