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Song Parodies -> "Are You Ready For The Rapture"
Original Song Title:
"She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Are You Ready For The Rapture"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
The really rather odd thing about those Christians who talk about being taken up bodily to heaven when the rapture comes is that they actually seem to believe it...
Are you ready for the rapture when it comes?
Are you ready for the rapture when it comes?
'Cause I'm ready for the rapture
Though it may sound like claptrap to ya
I'll be spouting loads of crap to ya 'til it comes
Singing Hallelujah, praise the Lord
Singing Hallelujah, I'm hard-cored
Singing Hallelujah
Tell me, what's it to ya?
Singing Hallelujah, 'til you're bored
Oh yes, I will be ascending when it comes
Life in heaven, neverending when it comes
And you poor guys will be stayin'
Are you hearing what I'm prayin'
Agay-in and agay-in 'til it comes
Singing Hallelujah, Jesus Christ
Singing Hallelujah, 'cause I'm right
Singing Hallelujah
Raptur-oo-ooh yeah
Singing Hallelujah, outta sight
I'll have heavenly relations when it comes
You'll have trials and tribulations when it comes
They'll be no congratulations
To the whole world's populations
**** You, United Nations when it comes
Singing Hallelujah, now I know
Singing Hallelujah, time to go
Singing Hallelujah
What I mean is.. screw ya!
Singing Hallelujah, holy Mo
Won't you guys all feel like fools when it comes?
You'll be sad you broke God's rules when it comes
So, you better had eschew all
Things, be kind by being cruel
No way in, homosex-you-alls when it comes
Singing Hallelujah, hello Gahd
Singing Hallelujah, I'm on guard
Singing Hallelujah
Yee hah! wha-hoo, yeah
Singing Hallelujah, bye you 'tards
For you guys will stay down here when it comes
Oh dear, oh dear, OH DEAR! When it comes
When I laugh and I say "see ya!"
Hey, what do you mean, you'll cheer?
You can keep your girls and beer when it comes
Singing Hallelujah, who's da man?
Singing Hallelujah, master plan...
Singing Hallelujah
Muslim or Hindu - ha!
Singing Hallelujah, (did that scan?)
Don't know when it's gonna come.. but it'll come
I know I'm right and I'm not wrong, it's gonna come
But though so far it hasn't come
I won't shut up and stay schtumm
I'll just prattle and look dumb 'til it comes
Singing Hallelujah, glory be
Singing Hallelujah, then you'll see
Singing Hallelujah
Cheerio, adieu, yeah
Singing Hallelujah, rapture me!
Are you ready for the rapture when it comes?
'Cause I'm ready for the rapture
Though it may sound like claptrap to ya
I'll be spouting loads of crap to ya 'til it comes
Singing Hallelujah, praise the Lord
Singing Hallelujah, I'm hard-cored
Singing Hallelujah
Tell me, what's it to ya?
Singing Hallelujah, 'til you're bored
Oh yes, I will be ascending when it comes
Life in heaven, neverending when it comes
And you poor guys will be stayin'
Are you hearing what I'm prayin'
Agay-in and agay-in 'til it comes
Singing Hallelujah, Jesus Christ
Singing Hallelujah, 'cause I'm right
Singing Hallelujah
Raptur-oo-ooh yeah
Singing Hallelujah, outta sight
I'll have heavenly relations when it comes
You'll have trials and tribulations when it comes
They'll be no congratulations
To the whole world's populations
**** You, United Nations when it comes
Singing Hallelujah, now I know
Singing Hallelujah, time to go
Singing Hallelujah
What I mean is.. screw ya!
Singing Hallelujah, holy Mo
Won't you guys all feel like fools when it comes?
You'll be sad you broke God's rules when it comes
So, you better had eschew all
Things, be kind by being cruel
No way in, homosex-you-alls when it comes
Singing Hallelujah, hello Gahd
Singing Hallelujah, I'm on guard
Singing Hallelujah
Yee hah! wha-hoo, yeah
Singing Hallelujah, bye you 'tards
For you guys will stay down here when it comes
Oh dear, oh dear, OH DEAR! When it comes
When I laugh and I say "see ya!"
Hey, what do you mean, you'll cheer?
You can keep your girls and beer when it comes
Singing Hallelujah, who's da man?
Singing Hallelujah, master plan...
Singing Hallelujah
Muslim or Hindu - ha!
Singing Hallelujah, (did that scan?)
Don't know when it's gonna come.. but it'll come
I know I'm right and I'm not wrong, it's gonna come
But though so far it hasn't come
I won't shut up and stay schtumm
I'll just prattle and look dumb 'til it comes
Singing Hallelujah, glory be
Singing Hallelujah, then you'll see
Singing Hallelujah
Cheerio, adieu, yeah
Singing Hallelujah, rapture me!
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User Comments
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{quietly puts on his Pyrolon® coveralls to prepare for the incoming flame-storm}
i love this one...great job....always been fascinated by the concept of the rapture...saw a comic book once...RAPTURE COMICS....a wild eyed nurse running down a maternity ward corridor screaming, "DOCTOR, DOCTOR....THE BABIES ARE ALL MISSING"
he he he he he Loved the What I mean is.. screw ya!
I forgot to put this in my heading: In a news report a few days ago, it showed a picture of a chap carrying a placard bearing the words "Are YOU ready for the Rapture?"... which kind of inspired this one. Anyway... thanks, all :-)
McK - no flame storm so far... I guess they've not noticed
Alvin - I wonder, are babies included? (even the non-baptised/non-Christian ones...)
Ann - well, there's only so many rhymes for "hallelujah", and I didn't want to repeat myself too much :-)
McK - no flame storm so far... I guess they've not noticed
Alvin - I wonder, are babies included? (even the non-baptised/non-Christian ones...)
Ann - well, there's only so many rhymes for "hallelujah", and I didn't want to repeat myself too much :-)
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