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Song Parodies -> "A Teddy Bear Called Mohammed"
Original Song Title:
"Teddy Bears' Picnic"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"A Teddy Bear Called Mohammed"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
A British teacher has been charged in Sudan with insulting religion, inciting hatred and showing contempt for religious beliefs... all for agreeing with her children's choice of name for their class teddy: Mohammed.
As well as being stupid and more than a bit pathetic, I would argue that this ridiculous bit of state-sponsored bullying is actually quite offensive to anyone who believes in any kind of human rights at all.
Read all about it
As well as being stupid and more than a bit pathetic, I would argue that this ridiculous bit of state-sponsored bullying is actually quite offensive to anyone who believes in any kind of human rights at all.
Read all about it
If you go teach in Sudan today
Beware of their holy laws
If you teach kids in Sudan today
You'd better take care, because
Imams there are so eas'ly annoyed
Fanatical and so paranoid
So who's to blame for teddy bear's name "Mohammed"?
Picking names for teddy bears
The kiddies' teddy bears
Are needing a brand new name today
Picking, choosing unawares
That the wrong name means you get locked away
Oh, no, it will end in tears
They don't like propheteers
The teddy ain't even theirs
At six a.m. the p'licemen come knocking to cart you off to jail
Because of insults from teddy bears
Every teddy bear who's called Mo
Is really inciting hate
Insulting Islam, et cetera
To punish, they'll flagellate
Beneath the trees where everyone sees
They'll whip with lashings of expertise
Then lock you up for calling a bear "Mohammed"
Picking names for teddy bears
Is very danger-ares
If you're in Islamic theocracy
Pick a name that's in their prayers
They'll prosecute you for idolatry
What are they so mad about?
Why do they rant and shout?
They're giving the kids nightmares
So pick a name that isn't Mohammed - why not "Allah" instead?
'Cause it's incitement from teddy bears.
Beware of their holy laws
If you teach kids in Sudan today
You'd better take care, because
Imams there are so eas'ly annoyed
Fanatical and so paranoid
So who's to blame for teddy bear's name "Mohammed"?
Picking names for teddy bears
The kiddies' teddy bears
Are needing a brand new name today
Picking, choosing unawares
That the wrong name means you get locked away
Oh, no, it will end in tears
They don't like propheteers
The teddy ain't even theirs
At six a.m. the p'licemen come knocking to cart you off to jail
Because of insults from teddy bears
Every teddy bear who's called Mo
Is really inciting hate
Insulting Islam, et cetera
To punish, they'll flagellate
Beneath the trees where everyone sees
They'll whip with lashings of expertise
Then lock you up for calling a bear "Mohammed"
Picking names for teddy bears
Is very danger-ares
If you're in Islamic theocracy
Pick a name that's in their prayers
They'll prosecute you for idolatry
What are they so mad about?
Why do they rant and shout?
They're giving the kids nightmares
So pick a name that isn't Mohammed - why not "Allah" instead?
'Cause it's incitement from teddy bears.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 5 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 15 | 16 |
User Comments
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I don't remember the original well enough to be sure about the pacing, but the timeliness and humor and choice of OS is superb! (BTW, I named my teddy bear Chayim Yankel and nobody complained...)
Loved it, Phil...I was dumbfounded when I read this story the other day...nice work!
What Arwen said. 555
great parody about a truly strange event
Sudanly, mad imans want to give me 40 lashes, hanging from a pillory. Next time, I'll name the Teddy Ray. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. . . .
This is truly the best of these 'beastly' parodies! I'd take ~5~ lashes for you, Sir, if I only knew how to vote, or how does this work?? I am new to this game, so I am not a club member?!?
Phil, You are my Star..
DKTOS, Phil, but I agree with the sentiment. Even more pathetic to note that it was the KIDS who named the Teddy Bear, not the teacher. She was "guilty" of ALLOWING it! Fortunately, the morons "only" sentenced her to 15 days, of which she has already served 5, probably due to some intervention by the British consulate. Thankfully, no lashing. Even the 15 days is absurd, but it was probably to save face of some dumb-ass imam.
OH...yeah, and she's to be DEPORTED following her sentence...yeah, after all, why would Sudan want any TEACHER'S to educate their children.
Jesus (or maybe I should say "Allah")! It just occurred to me that this woman was probably there as a VOLUNTEER to try and help these idiots (I'm not calling the kids idiots, just the adults involved)...yeah, once again, no good deed goes unpunished.
I understand that the teacher was trying to teach a lesson about having a democratically held election to pick the name. Are the Sudanese also afraid of democratic elections? Good, timely stuff, Phil. I like the word you coined - propheteer.
JJ - yes, I think they are, though I wouldn't mind betting the whole arrest and charging stems more from an attempt to prove how pious they are - "look, we're so in love with our religion, we'll arrest someone for naming a Teddy", some kind of sick piety pissing contest.
Paul - You don't know the "Teddy Bears' Picnic"? One of the lucky people in society.. Sudan probably doesn't want Western teachers in their society - the people might end up with nasty ideas about democracy, education for girls and that sort of thing
Sue - I knew *someone* would take a shine to me ;-)
LittleCupCakes- to vote, you need cookies enabled, then click on the "Place your vote" button above. Oh yes, and welcome :-)
Everyone else - Thank you. Seems like I'm not the only one thinking this story should never have happened.
Paul - You don't know the "Teddy Bears' Picnic"? One of the lucky people in society.. Sudan probably doesn't want Western teachers in their society - the people might end up with nasty ideas about democracy, education for girls and that sort of thing
Sue - I knew *someone* would take a shine to me ;-)
LittleCupCakes- to vote, you need cookies enabled, then click on the "Place your vote" button above. Oh yes, and welcome :-)
Everyone else - Thank you. Seems like I'm not the only one thinking this story should never have happened.
Update: Apparently there have been mass demonstrations in Khartoum today protesting because the sentence was not HARSHER!
One thing abundantly clear is how little these folks care about their children. How would those kids feel if their teacher were brutalized or imprisoned for years just because the kids chose to name the bear"Muhammed"? Naw, they don't care, they just want to scare the crap out of them so they'll be obedient.
As things stand now there are some really twisted elements in Islam and it seems the more reasonable folks within it are too intimidated by the arbitrary harshness they could be subjected to or perhaps too instinctively defensive about it to speak out effectively.
And that's freaking sad.
I do wonder how many of those people protesting knew what the teacher actually did: there does seem to be a tendency to hit the streets with no real information (like with the cartoons - 99% or more of the people on the streets had not even seen them). I would write a parody about that... except that I already have :-)
I wonder what they think of the Warren Zevon song "Mohammed's Radio"
Is it okay if I named my stuffed elephant Ganesh?
Is it okay if I named my stuffed elephant Ganesh?
Oh, that's probably insulting to the prophet, too, for some... as for the elephant, the Hindus don't take the same sort of offence at, well, anything it seems.
When I saw this on the news, I thought that it was the stupidest thing I ever heard of in my life.
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