A Grazing Mace, hit my left eye
Got sprayed right in the face
Called me a sexual predator..
Showed up at this girl's place

I heard her yell "Just Come right in."
So, in the door I go
I glanced around suspiciously
Chris Hansen said, "Hello"

His words and comments puzzled me
"I see you like to spank..".
"You asked right here.. "Do you suck toes?"
And "Have you ever blanked?"

I Thought this was some kind of poll
Survey of politics
He just ignored my quizzing look,
Said, "You're screen name is 'Licks'

I placed my case down on the floor
He gave it one long stare
Then, shook his head after I said
"Those are my tools in there.."

I spoke, "Now Sir, please understand
I've got to do her tank.."
His words were sharp, "You'd better go
You dirty rotten skank!"

I thought, well, Hey..ta ta, my friend
I'll leave if that's the case..
As soon as I walked out the door
Ten cops stepped on my face

Tight handcuffs hurt, so I yelled out,
"Why am I in this jam?
I just came here to fix the flush,
A plumber's what I am !"

A Grazing Mace hit my left eye
Got sprayed right in the face
I ain't no sexual predator
Just here to plumb the place