Chokin' his mistress was Don Sherwood,
He'd gag-smother mouth and throat.
She's hoarse; his horeseplay got carried away.
How'll his district now vo-ote?

Choked up, the missus of Don Sherwood,
Lump forming in her throat.
"Do you give blows to all your 'ho's,
You bloated old sound-squeeze goat?!"

"Whoa!" says the district of Don Sherwood,
"A strange way to have foreplay.
We hear his belle he was strangling, poor thing;
Least the hand-gripper ain't ga-ay."

No Jack the Ripper is Don Sherwood;
He throttles but don't slay.
He'll knock 'er down, wrap his hands around;
For him it's gag-mistress day.

"Go!" says the dimwit to Don Sherwood,
"You rate, Don, you're doin' great!"
He came down to show, Don's a god fellow,
His family-values ma-ate.

Force her to zip it does Don Sherwood;
The payoff's capped, though high.
She's gotta keep mum or she'll forfeit some
Of close-throat hush-money pie.