Oh! It's Santa's night out
Get drunk with guys
Away from workshop
Away from their wives

Santa Claus is buying a round!
Santa Claus is buying a round!!
Santa Claus is buying a round!!!

He checking out chicks
He's checking some twice
He's going to find out if they're naughty or nice

Santa Claus is checking them out
Santa Claus is buying them rounds
Santa Claus is sleeping around

They know that he's been drinking
They know cause their heads ache
Tooth Fairy, Great Pumpkin, and Cupid
One better drive good for Xmas Sake
(One better drive good for Xmas Sake)

Cause It's Santa's night out
He's going to get high
And I have no doubt
A hooker they'll buy

Santa Claus is checking her out
Santa Claus is buying her now
Santa Claus is fooling around

(Drunken hooker loving trumpet solo)

He hopes his wife is sleeping
He's doomed if she's awake
Uh-oh, she's waiting there, no good
He'd better think fast, but mind's a blank
(He'd better think fast, but mind's a blank)

He's getting cussed out
"You're coming in fried!!!
Yeah, I must shout!!!
I'll go tan your hide!!!"

Santa Claus won't go buy a round
Tooth Fairy is getting his now
Cupid's got his wife to calm down

Santa Claus is getting beat down
Mrs. Claus has started to frown
Santa Claus is sleeping on couch!!!