You know Richard and Kelly and Susan and Sean
Colleen and Gervase and Gretchen and Joel
But do you recall?
The most wrinkled Survivor of all?

Rudy the Old Survivor
Had a very crabby way
and if you ever saw him
he would always say "go away"

All of the other Survivors
used to laugh and swim all day
they never knew old Rudy
allied with a guy who's gay

Then one rainy island eve
Jeff Probst came to say
Richard with your butt so bare
you'll be our new millionare

Then how the fans reacted
as they shouted out with rage
Rudy the Old Survivor
Almost whooped a fag half his age