He[1] is unhappy, and so he’s forsworn
His verdict to stretch her[2] neck ’cause it was born
Of peer pressure; he’ll start on the morn
To prove that the maid’s not guilty.

The girl’s going to go to the gallows;
Out of her the rope breath will squeeze.
He’s a hunch that who caused the victim’s death knell
Was the man on the flying trapeze,[3]

Who flies through the air with the greatest of ease—
He’ll snare the young man on the flying trapeze
Whose movements are graceful, but a girl he did grease—
It’s a hunch to prove straightaway.

The young man had a strange name: it was Handell Fane;
He’d had a beef with the gal[4] that was slain.
He’d smile from the bar, and he was in a show
With Diana, whom he did love.

Who was found with the victim, in a coma
Near a poker all covered in blood.
That poker was lying right there at her side;
In a trance they led her away.

She could not remember what happened that night
After acting per part on the stage.
The law licks its chops and it took her downtown—
Often the case, the law ain’t sage.

Then Sir John figures a way to nail the gnome
Who calls the state and the trapeze bar home.
So he summons Fane from the big top’s dome
To read for a role in John’s new play.

The scenario gives Handel quite a fright;
Sir John is putting on the squeeze.
The plot replicates what Sir John thought went down;
Fane escapes just as fast as you please.

But he realizes: he’s in John’s thrall.
He’s up in the air—looks like he might fall.
The thing he has done, he then starts to recall,
And his vision starts getting dim.

Now even gymnastics would not serve him right—
Diana’s image he sees.
Of the rope he makes a noose, in his shame
He’ll no more fly on the trapeze.

He hangs in the air; face is gray; he’s deceased.
There’s irony there that increased and increased.
No movements he’s making, but Sir John is quite pleased
Because Diana’s now his love.


[1]Sir John Menie, as played by Herbert Marshall (“Foreign Correspondent”)
[2]Doucie Markham, as played by Phillis Konstam (“The Skin Game”)
[3]Handel Fane, as played by Esme Percy
[4]Diana Bariing, as played by Norah Baring