Down yonder pub lounge bar where drunkards meander,
When twilight is fading, I drink all my pay
Blink at the bright matchlight as I light my ciggie
Amid the dark tables, can't find the ash tray

'Twas there while the fag end was smokily smould'ring
I saw this fit blond girl, my first thought was "Fwoooah"
My thoughts wandered farther than simple hand-holding
Unnoticed, my cigarette fell on the floor

Still lay the bright fag-end on beer mat or carpet
Still smouldered the lit tip bit, lying somewhere
Still trembled my tonsils as I spied my Venus
Till I smelt a different smoke on the air

Oh bollocks! S**t and bollocks! The bar's all a-flaming
I exited, shouting "Get out of my way!"
Ye echoes, O tell me, it's me that they're blaming
When you put down your cigarette, use the ash tray