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Song Parodies -> "We Three Chinks"

Original Song Title:

"We Three Kings"

Original Performer:

Traditional Christmas

Parody Song Title:

"We Three Chinks"

Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

a little early for christmas in the orient, but what the hey....
we three chinks from Orient are,
nasty when we smash up our cars
we're conniving, when we're driving,
tow me to that garage,

oh body shop I'm here tonight
fix my car and fix it right
fix my bumper from that thumper
get me on the road tonight

reckless charges I've never lost
blind me with some silk dental floss
let me smash you, and I will crash you,
please just don't tell the boss

oh body shop I'm here tonight
fix my car and fix it right
fix my bumper from that thumper
get me on the road tonight


gas and rad stuff is like perfume,
missed the stop sigh, aaargh and KABOOM
killed the driver, cops arrived, and
took me off to jail too soon

oh body shop I'm here tonight
fix my car and fix it right
fix my bumper from that thumper
get me on the road tonight


got my car back, shiny and new,
maaco man, I'm real good to you,
driving's shoddy, smash up the body,
I'll be back tomorrow noon

oh body shop I'm here tonight
fix my car and fix it right
fix my bumper from that thumper
get me on the road tonight


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 1.2
Overall Rating: 1.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   0
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 4   2
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Long Duk Fo - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
As an Oriental American, I find this piece below your usually funny odes. To say that Chinese drivers intentionally cause car accidents is nothing short of repugnant.
tai mai shu - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
as an American oliental, I haf no pwobwem wiff dis song.. if yuu wanna causse twubble, you can fohgehabouwitt keep it up mustah hayga
Jared - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
I don't thinkt his is legitimaely Mal that sent this one in...just someone using his handle, as we do not have regustration or passwords.....Mal never struck me as racist, this is probably some moron trying to start trouble.
malcolm higgins - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
I've always said for people here to have the balls to admit whay they say and do, Jared. This WAS mine.. it was a dig on the sometimes terrible driving ability of a SMALL MINORITY of the asian drivers in Toronto. Racist, yeah I guess I am two of my kids have black godparents, and my personal assistant is asian.. and she calls some of her own by this moniker. it was and is, a JOKE! if I offend anyone, I'm sorry, but a sense of humour is for EVERY SUBJECT NOT JUST WHAT "MIGHT" BE PC because pc, Jared I am not. if a joke gets me branded as a racist, it just cements my theory that when a word as powerful as "racist" is used too freely, the lines between who is and who isn't becomes blurry. some of my stuff is on the edge, this may be over, but like I said if you're offended, TELL ME. I will apologise. air cleared.
Rice Cube - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
*shrug* no worse than our Jew parody :-P
Guy DiRIto - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Or your BJ Thomas Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head 'dago parody'. Malcolm, would you write one slamming 'johnny bulls'? If it is truly a joke you should be able to slam your own heritage as well.
Wild Man - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Folks please understand that this is satire. All ment as humor, not the gospel. Lighten up everyone. By the way I'm a Dago Whap so there! Malcolm is not being malicous he is a humorist.
Guy DiRito - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
I didn't take it wrong. I know it's humor. I'd just like to see him do one on his own background. Lord know's I've stepped on a few toes out here myself. It may show anyone with heartburn that he is fair and where he is really coming from. I got a little upset when I first saw that BJ Thomas song but I've come to understand where Malcolm is coming from. I was new on the site then. I actually thought it was funny after I understood the intent.
Wild Man - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah, I capish
dude - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
It's Dago WOP not whap.. It stands for WithOut Papers, and was considered a slur, because it meant the person in question didn't have papers to be in the country.
Wild Man - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Yes, I understand what it means, Dude. I was referring to it in jest. And FYI WHAP means WONDERFULL HOT ASS PERSON. See how things are so easily misunderstood.
Long Duk Fo - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
I have no problem with your parodies, Mal. Just the belief that only a small "minority" of Asians drive recklessly and not a small "minority" of drunks, or a small "minority" of dumb asses. I accept your apology, simply because I believe you are not a "racist" per se.
malcolm higgins - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
ok enough already. I admitted it was mine, and why, lets not all get philosophical.. it hurts the humour.. Oriental folk, if you are offended, sorry, if you can
malcolm higgins - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
ok enough already. I admitted it was mine, and why, lets not all get philosophical.. it hurts the humour.. Oriental folk, if you are offended, sorry, if you can
malcolm higgins - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
ok enough already. I admitted it was mine, and why, lets not all get philosophical.. it hurts the humour.. Oriental folk, if you are offended, sorry, if you can laugh with me, lets have a coffee and laugh.. lighten up one and all.. sheesh I definitely will now do a song about we haggis sopping penny pinching red haired pimply assed scots.. ok? watch for it.. scathing but again all in fun, and I'll be the butt of it.. nuff said about this one ?? people??
Long Duk Fo - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Yes, but why do you have to say it three times?!!
Long Duk Fo - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
I meant your last message, Malcolm, not the parody itself.
Jared - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey, jsut checked out this parody again, Mal, and wanted to apologize...I guess I'm jsut oversensitive to ethnic slurs, regardless of whether or not the ethnicity is mine. I'm sorry, and I still respect you as a parodist (Is that a word?) My respect for you is what caused me to accuse this of being faked,. Once again, I'm sorry..no hard fellings?
malcolm higgins - September 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Jared, I NEVER have bad feelings about anyone.. I laugh with ( and sometimes at) everything, as I'm sure some people laugh with and at me ( I'm kinda fat and bald, you see) I appreciate your use of the word respect.. as a "parodist" it means a lit to make someone else think of things with this stuff. I tend to dance the line on taste, and sometimes lean over .. but on this site, never too far.. btw I hear chucky is shutting down whatfreaks... no mind I have all my stuff on a cd anyway.. keep your writing up too, the more you do the better they get.. and I'm still laughing everytime I sing one of mine to myself.. but it did poorly... "I'm anemone the eighth I am" anything with a sea beast in it is ok with me cheers friend
Guy DiRito - September 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah, we not laughing at people out here, we're laughing near them. :)

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