I didn't want to go skiing with my dad last night
'Cause he's broke, and he thinks he can go on the lift without pay
Yeah, I'll pass going skiing with my dad sometime
And I hope on the lift, it will bounce, and he won't stay on

When we got up to the top of the hill
He just yodeled like a goat. Dang, his voice was so shrill
Most of our evening trips make me feel glad
Yet I wish I never ever went skiing with my dad

Never again will I ski with my dad. Last night,
Going down, he would speed his way, hitting trees, hitting lights
But he knew hitting trees would wind-up his life
After hours, they found him in snow. They read him his rights

Now he's in jail, I'm embarrassed, yet still
I'm his educated son who's paying all of his bills
And when my kids ask where the frick's Granddad
I'll just say I don't remember the skiing with my dad

Why do I remember it when
He pushed me off Uncharted Cliff
A rock impaled my brain
My brain was fried, it literally made me pass away

I'm in the ER again because Dad, last night
Wanted me to ski down the only double black diamond
Thanks, now I suffer from falling six miles last night
And I hope he will donate his heart, so that I'll live on

I was a doctor like them, giving pills
While my dad is getting surgery in inept Brazil
Paid by the government's driving me mad
So I wish I never ever went skiing with my dad

When the insurance bills come, I'll be ill
I'll wish Dad did normal hobbies. He'd like fly-fishing krill
He won't remember his son is named Tad
And I hope I won't again go do skiing with my dad

Why is it that he thinks psychosis is rad?
Wish I could just live in a world without Dad!