For everyone who never slept with chicks
I've got a crash course
If you have problems finding a girlfriend,
And you wonder how to score her
Here are my tips

See her walking down the street, hair raised up
Confidently, you confront her, grab her, kissing her hand
Then touch nothing but her butt

Okay, you're asking how to get her to your bed
Uplift her, lifting her body, covered in fat
And confidently drag her there
Yes, you're a man, and being a man means chronic assertiveness
She'll get her oxytocin at 1
AM, when you're on top of her
About her screams and moaning,
Grab a rope and tie her hands and feet to keep her

I know the worst thing she could say to dump you now:
"I've got a boyfriend!"
"I've got a boyfriend!"

If that so happens, then leave the girl, asking for the boy's address
A knife, you'll use to interrogate the chad
So when you arrive, you ask if he's a virgin or a rapist, then
You confidently stab him right

Soon you go back to your house to have sex
You find your babe has escaped from the ropes
I'm afraid you can't track her down. Find a new girl!
That's all the experience I have right now
I don't know how to make love every day
Be assured that you'll have much more luck than I have

La la la, la la la, la la la, la
La la la, la la la la
La la la, la la la
La la la, la la la, la la la, la
La la la, la la la la
La la la, la la
Oh!