Rod save the Stewart
Without these kids
In my own enemies
In England, we're screaming
Rod save the Stewart
Quit biting yourself
We're texting Frank Skinner
About rap's violence

Towards women and Tasmin Archer
I've just had enough of rap
Bring back George Formby and REM
Because today's rap is full of pish

Rod save the Stewart
Quit sucking your thumb
Just like a Falkirk child
In Falkirk, you're dreaming
Rod save the Stewart
Quit freezing the slaves
With Adrian Chiles
We're playing Chinese whispers

No punk, and no Noël Gallagher
No Irish, and sadly no Edinburgh
No Rod, and sadly no hip hop
Cos hip hop is stupid

Rod save the Stewart
We don't give a lotto
But there's no music
In my charts today
Cos Rod save the Stewart
Who the phish are One Direction
Cos I've brought a Primus

No bollocks, and there's no reply
To keep yourself from me, go away
If you're the silent alarm, there is away
A home and away kit
And I don't give a folk
No billocks, and no Leeds fans
No boobies, and no big bottoms
Cos I'm English
And I don't give a trit trot

There's no punk rock
There's no punk rock
There's no Eminem CDs
For me