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Song Parodies -> "Algebra is Useless (Theme from M*A*T*H)"
Original Song Title:
"Suicide Is Painless (Theme from M*A*S*H)"
Original Performer:
Theme Songs
Parody Song Title:
"Algebra is Useless (Theme from M*A*T*H)"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
This was actually written while listening to the Manic Street Preachers version of the song, but I think it uses the same verses as the original theme (unlike the lyric sheet I found that had a couple more...)
Through early morning chalk I see
Letters where numbers should be
My teacher, he explains to me
Saying most confusingly
'Cause algebra is useless
All it does is confuse us
But I must take this subject, it's no breeze.
I try to find a way to make
x + 2y = 8
If x is 2y ..hold on, wait!
But no, I finished way too late, and...
Algebra is useless
Or, so says Confucius
But I must take this subject oh, puh-lease.
The testing time will now begin
Our maths examinashee-yin
I'll miss the max.. I'll miss the min
I want to chuck it... in the bin, 'cause
Algebra is useless
Though I've tried excuses
But I must take this subject... in Chinese?
My teacher once requested me
To answer questions a thru' c
Is it 2b or not 2b
And I replied 'oh why ask me?'
Algebra is useless
And I'm an utter doofus
But I must take this subject for degrees?
'Cause algebra is useless
All it does is confuse us
But I must take this subject I reprise:
...and you may take this subject, if you please
Letters where numbers should be
My teacher, he explains to me
Saying most confusingly
'Cause algebra is useless
All it does is confuse us
But I must take this subject, it's no breeze.
I try to find a way to make
x + 2y = 8
If x is 2y ..hold on, wait!
But no, I finished way too late, and...
Algebra is useless
Or, so says Confucius
But I must take this subject oh, puh-lease.
The testing time will now begin
Our maths examinashee-yin
I'll miss the max.. I'll miss the min
I want to chuck it... in the bin, 'cause
Algebra is useless
Though I've tried excuses
But I must take this subject... in Chinese?
My teacher once requested me
To answer questions a thru' c
Is it 2b or not 2b
And I replied 'oh why ask me?'
Algebra is useless
And I'm an utter doofus
But I must take this subject for degrees?
'Cause algebra is useless
All it does is confuse us
But I must take this subject I reprise:
...and you may take this subject, if you please
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
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| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 13 | 13 | 13 |
User Comments
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Can someone explain to me where algebra has any use to anyone but those involved in the scientific fields? Good stuff, Phil.
Great pun, from Mash to Math...and clever parody
Thanks Ag & AFW.. and you made me realize that I forgot to thank my inspiration for this: my son, who repeated "Algebra is useless" enough times for me to hear it to this tune.
As to where algebra has any use: frequently, though you might not realize what you're doing is algebra.
As to where algebra has any use: frequently, though you might not realize what you're doing is algebra.
i echo the sentiment....i enjoyed math in school and saw the purposefullness of it...UNTIL i got to alegbra....nice job on this
With algebra I think you either get it or you don't. I aced geometry in my sophmore year of high school but I barely made it through algebra the year before as a freshman. I have a brother who bcame a math teacher. He got it, I didn't. Loved the "2b" ref - outstanding. I'm voting (X)=5 ³.
My worst subject in high school was algebra. Did OK in English and languages. That's why I'm writing parodies for free and not programming computers for pay.
Let's see...if x + 2y = 8 then 2y = 8 - x...wait...
x = 8 - 2y...wait...
y = mx + b...wait...
-b +/- the square root of b squared minus 4ac all over 2a...
Oh the heck with it...the answer is 555
x = 8 - 2y...wait...
y = mx + b...wait...
-b +/- the square root of b squared minus 4ac all over 2a...
Oh the heck with it...the answer is 555
Well, if you're working at Burger King, it's pretty useless. Otherwise, you'd be suprised how useful it can be. Never trust someone else to do the math for you.
alvin - alegbra? Is that a new pharmaceutical for the mathmatically challenged?
alvin - alegbra? Is that a new pharmaceutical for the mathmatically challenged?
This is a very funny parody!! Hmm...I used to love math. Now I detest it and would rather work with words. Doing 2+2+4 is good for me. 5's
IB - I did try and get the quadratic solution in, but couldn't find a way to make it scan (and the solution to the equations in verse 2 is x=4, y=2)
alvin - wouldn't you use alegbra if you had rather odd-shaped thighs?
Thanks again :-)
alvin - wouldn't you use alegbra if you had rather odd-shaped thighs?
Thanks again :-)
Or...x = 2, y = 3 ;-)
oops...I missed the x = 2y line...My Bad !!!
Growing up, math was a mystery to me. As an adult, I took Algebra, and got it !!! So the brain might need time to mature & grow . . .
Very well done, Phil... I see you beat me to answering that y=2. Loved the rhymes with "useless" in the chorus the best as well as the clever re-use of "Is it 2b or not 2b". If anyone knows where to find the full six verse OS, I'd love to have it. . .
IB - first read the question... how many times have I said that to my children? ;-)
Red Ant - it's not on YouTube... not that I could find, anyway.
Re the 2b line: you guys are too kind - after all, what else *could* that line turn into?
Red Ant - it's not on YouTube... not that I could find, anyway.
Re the 2b line: you guys are too kind - after all, what else *could* that line turn into?
I know what alge is, and I know what a bra is, and this parody is greater than the sum of the parts.
Just will someone give me any reason where A substitution of Letters to numbers will help someone to find out an answer?
(I am talking "real life here." ) "Scientists back off," this is a question for people that have to work for a living....
Bill - A game my children used to (and on rarer occasions still do) play in the car: when you see a Mini, that scores 3 points; yellow cars score two - if, for example, you had accumulated 50 points after seeing 20 cars, how many were minis? It becomes very easy to work this out kind of thing using algebra, otherwise you end up doing each one iteratively, which takes lots longer. Don't think of it as "substituting letters for numbers", but "substituting letters for what I want to find out", then finding out the number. A lot of times you'll find you're actually doing algebra without realizing.
Rex - I know what a bra is, but not so sure about "alge"..
Rex - I know what a bra is, but not so sure about "alge"..
We can always count on English teams to add up in Champions Leauge, but the national team's coach must have missed algebra couse he landed them on the minus side in the upcoming European Championship.
Pretty much fabulous, Phil...you had me at the title! Lots of smiles...and a few scowls at the memories I have of High School Algebra...=)
how to sing this? i mean what was the tune of this song.. pls reply asap
krisz - if you don't know M*A*S*H (must be a youngster ;-) ), you can find the original on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gO7uemm6Yo
I cant do algebra please dont make me to algebra
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