Mmm-mmm-oh-oh-no-oh-oh-oh-no
This whole thing blows

Why'd you invite me, dude? I never said I wanted this
I'd never lie to you 'cause of expensive-ass tickets
And how much time it took to book, let those excuses rot
'Cause you forced this stupid trip on me, it's awful
Love it? Need it? Stupid question, sorry
Best get a refund for me, best get started
Since I'm feelin' jumpy, it's the truth right now
Right into the not-on-this-damn-boat blue

Don't want to be here, it's true
Stupid-ass cruise, I wanna stop it so I can get off it
It wasn't on offer, could not choose
To refuse to go with you
On this damn cruise, let me get off it, pull the brakes and stop it
Or whatever function stops us movin', dude

Ev'ry holiday, it's true, I tend to not stay (not stay)
In the hotel 'cause there's lots of places I want (I want)
To go, want entertainment not in one place (one place)
I don't like bein' confined to one cramped-ass spot (ass spot)
Full to the brim, yeah-eah, with stranger's kids, yeah-eah
Can't dodge their shit, yeah-eah
And I can't just run away 'cause I'm stuck here, can't just drown the pain in beer
Amps up seasickness, I fear, I hate this

No good tunes on this boat, true
Really lame cruise you've dragged me on, this is a load of bollocks
Drown problems with bops, that's how I do
But the few bands don't want to
Pep up this cruise with heavy rockin', families don't want it
It's not a good holiday, it's true, this blew

Know you're tryin' to say that I'm crazy and also just straight lyin'
"Dude, there's stop-offs to see, so how can you be cryin'
'Bout how there's jack to see?" No problem, let me try it:
A time crunch ruins ev'rything
I don't like it, that pitiful shore leave, can't have much fun, no lyin'
Speed run beautiful scenes? That's not a thing worth tryin'
'Cause when the beauty's seen, ain't homeward bound, don't like it

No, you're forced to (it's true) trudge on back to (it's true)
The stupid cruise ship and its awful constant back-forth rollin'
And problems with garbage weather too
So if you think a Take Two (it's true)
On a damn cruise is comin', stop it (it's true), I will jump right off it
I'd honestly rather be shark food, it's true

Na-na-na-na-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
This whole thing blows
It's not what I'd choose (mmm-mmm-oh-oh-no-oh-oh-oh-no), oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
This whole thing blows