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Song Parodies -> "They Couldn’t Get to You"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"They Couldn’t Get to You"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In March 1945 the US Army captured the Ludendorff Bridge at Remagan as the Germans had kept it intact for too long and when the explosives arrived had very weak industrial type of only 300 kg which detonated but failed to drop the bridge. As a result, the US Army took hold on March 7th and fierce fighting broke out to destroy the bridge at all costs. The Luftwaffe sent fighters and bombers to attack the bridge but the US put up AAA. Everything from field artillery to railguns to 11 V-2 launches failed to bring the bridge down. Even a counter attack by German forces. My parody deals with friends of my German family back in the Fatherland that were Kampfschwimmers (German Navy frogmen) from the "Puma" unit that wore exotic suits soaked in chemicals that heated up in water. They used them to hide under fallen tree debris and slowly floated their way down the river to get to the bridge with charges. They were illuminated by searchlights and forced out of the water. The V-2 near impacts had severely weakened the bridge and when the final weapon was used- German Ar-234 jet bombers of III/KG 76, the bridge finally collapsed. Wiki is inaccurate about the V-2s causing the collapse. Even at 300 yrds, the land explosion would not have been sufficient vibration and stress to allow the Ar-234s to take it down. I believe it was a combination of all the weapons used from March 7-17th that allowed the collapse by the bombers. Anyway, the Kampfschwimmers were taken into custody and became POWs until Germany surrendered. They almost made it as did the floating mines the Germans sent down the river!!!
They couldn’t get to you
no more time

Ludendorff bridge held by Yank troops
Messers flyin’
Bomb drops tryin’

Hitler couldn’t stand it
Yank troops westward bound
Explosives handled badly
Engineers had failed to take it down

They couldn’t get to you
no more time
Still survived

Something new
Something new
Something new
The Kampfschwimmers tried now
Under darkness
Under fallen tree debris
Caught in spotlights- OUT!!!

March 17th
They couldn’t get to you
no more time
(Ar-234 jet bombers destroyed thee)
Note that the pontoon bridge at Linz was attacked on March 17th by SS frogmen of Jagdkommado "Donau".

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

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