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Song Parodies -> "Tortoise in WW2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Tortoise in WW2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Continuing with the British secret weapons of WW2: A39 Heavy Assault Tank Tortoise. A British heavy tank design developed in World War II but never put into production. It was developed for the task of clearing heavily fortified areas. As a result, the design favoured armour protection over mobility. The project started with a series of heavy tank designs. However, over the design period the vehicle grew in size and weight, and the original specification for heavily armoured tank was met when the Churchill tank was put into use. However the project continued, envisioned as a specialist weapon in the same mould as the many unusual vehicles of the 79th Armoured Division. It was now to be optimised for breaching the defences of the Siegfried Line, just as the French FCM F1 of 1940. The gun design was adapted from the British 3.75 inch anti-aircraft gun. The ammunition was separate charge and shell, the latter a 32 pound (14.5 kg) armour piercing shot (APCBC). In tests the gun was successful against a German Panther tank at nearly 1000 yards. The 32-pdr was carried in a ball mount in the front of the hull. To the left was a Besa machine gun in a heavy armoured ball mount. The other two machine guns were mounted in a turret on the top of the hull to the right. Internally it was split into three compartments, the transmission to the front, the crew in the centre and the Meteor engine at the rear. In strict terms, since the Tortoise had a fixed superstructure instead of a turret, it should be classified as a self propelled gun or an assault gun and not a tank. The crew included the Commander, driver, gunner with two loaders for the 32 pounder gun and two machine gunners. The Tortoise was not used in the war but was sent to Germany where it performed adequately in trials but was ultimately too tall and heavy for easy transportation. One of the six pilot vehicles can be seen at the Bovington Tank Museum, UK Data: Length : 10.06m Width : 3.91m Hight : 3.04m Weight : 78t Engine : Rollce-Royce Meteor (600hp) Max Speed : 19.3Km/h Crew : 7 Armament : 32 Pounder Anti Tank Gun(94mm), 3X 7.92mm BESA Machine Guns
Tortoise in WW2
Brit design

Assault tank for a quick break through
78 ton lion
32 (pdr) was firin’

The Brits couldn’t stand it
Tigers runnin’ ‘round
APC shot deadly
1000 yards, it could take a Panther down

Tortoise in WW2
Brit design
Overtime

They built you
They built you
They built you
Meteor engine and all
Germans unaware
Tortoise witnessed the
German fall

Was heavy
Tortoise in WW2
Brit design
(no encounters with enemy)
http://strangevehicles.greyfalcon.us/picturesh/torto.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   13
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

WCJ - August 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Looks like half a tank, and half a bulldozer, ;-) A massively impressive parody! 5's! :-)
Rob Arndt - August 25, 2011 - Report this comment
It should be an assault gun due to fixed turret, but it's classified as a tank!!!
Rob Arndt - August 25, 2011 - Report this comment
The Tortoise at the Bovington Tank Museum: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1329/5102789550_17ca3ce54b.jpg

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