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Song Parodies -> "Nazi “Pub Dart” of WW2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Nazi “Pub Dart” of WW2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

After 63 years of silence, Britain released details of an obscure plot in 1945 by Hitler to attack British targets using the most unorthodox scheme ever - a 700 mph pin-point Vergeltungswaffe (Revenge Weapon) V-5 glider towed to Britain by a Me Bf 109 and released to cause havoc. The Bombensegler would be of largely wooden construction with rigid metal structural supports throughout the aircraft and a 48 degree wing sweep designed by Dr. Alexander Lippisch himself working closely with DFS. It was designed to carry a single SC-1000 (2,200 lb) bomb for target delivery. Drawings have come forth dating from 1945 that were discovered in the Reichs Chancellery building which were recently auctioned off in a London auction house in late 2008, expected to fetch around 3,000 pounds Sterling!!! The DFS Bombensegler (Bombing Sailplane) was to be towed covertly by a Me Bf 109 using a Deichselschlepp tow bar to an altitude of around 26,250 ft out to 6.2 miles of the target at which time the glider would be released. From that altitude, the Bombensegler would attain a theoretical diving speed of 700 mph near the target and release the slung SC-1000 bomb at approximately 2,300 feet from the target. With the low profile and high speed it is doubtful that once released from the towing aircraft (an armed Me Bf 109G or K) that the glider would be intercepted by anything the RAF could throw up against it, including the Gloster Meteor jet or Hawker Tempest. Of course, before release the Luftwaffe Me Bf 109 pilot would have faced the same vulnerabilities as the Mistel pilots!!! Yet once the bomb was safely dropped, the glider would deploy an inflatable balloon after a sweeping curve to carry it up and away from the blast area to a safe distance. There were recovery plans, but no one could agree on the best way to get the pilot back to safety once on enemy territory. Due to time constraints and DFS prior commitments to aircraft such as the DFS-228, DFS-346, Lippisch DM-1, the Mistel projects, as well as a television guidance plane in 1945, nothing became of what the British would later come to name the V-5... “Hitler’s Pub Dart”.
Nazi “Pub Dart” of WW2
Wunderwaffe V-5

Hitler’s desire to hit London wasn’t through
Meant for flyin’
V-5 would be glidin’

Bombensegler was odd bandit
Would be towed around
Then released with SC-1000
Toward London near speed of sound

Nazi “Pub Dart” of WW2
Wunderwaffe V-5
From 1945

Delta never flew
Delta never flew
Delta never flew
DFS too busy anyhow
Britain was unaware
Of Hitler’s lunacy
Nazi “Pub Dart” was too fragile

WW2 secrecy
Nazi “Pub Dart” of WW2
Wunderwaffe V-5
(Germans failed by the V-3)
http://z.greyfalcon.us/zz1.jpg http://z.greyfalcon.us/zz4.jpg http://z.greyfalcon.us/pictures2/zz10.jpg http://z.greyfalcon.us/pictures2/zz11.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - July 18, 2011 - Report this comment
In case anyone gets confused on the V-Weapons in order: V-1 (aka Fi-103/FZG-76) flying bomb/operational in 1944; V-2 (aka Peenemunde A-4) Ballistic Missile/operational 1944; V-3 (aka Coendors Taussendfussler/15cm Hochdruckpumpe) multi-barrel gun/destroyed in 1944 by bombing raid, shorter versions hit Antwerp in 1945; V-4 (made by Henschel, no designation number known) extended-range flying bomb with Pabst ramjet/being constructed on Misdroy for use against Sweden if that nation switched to Allies in 1945; V-5 (aka DFS Bombensegler) bombing glider scheme/project only...
WCJ - July 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Whoa! a falcon with a blockbuster! 555! :-)

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