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Song Parodies -> "Magic-Germans were Fooled"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Magic-Germans were Fooled"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

One of the often mis-looked feats of WW2 was the use of British magic on the Germans. Magician supreme, Jasper Maskelyne, approached the War Dept. about using his magic skills as elaborate deceptions to fool the Germans. He was hired at once and in 1940 set up- fake gun batteries along the English coast, forcing some German bombers to divert from strategic targets. Every time they bombed, Maskelyne just made more wood, cardboard, and rubber material and moved them about! But it was in N Africa that Maskelyne pulled off his best acts. He disguised real tanks as fake trucks and false forces using a wire movement system. He even cobbled together enough scrap to make a 700 ft long fake battleship in the Med!!! It sank, but not before German forces moved air assets to attack it. Even Rommel fell victim to Maskelyne when real Panzers approached his fake tanks. In quick time Maskelyne mounted high posts with mirrors and reflective paint so as the sun reflected off them they appeared to the German tankers as a massive Brit armored force in the distance. The Panzers halted and then turned back! And to top it off, Maskelyne faked Alexandria harbor a mile away with an elaborate dummy harbor with fake landmarks! This temporarily deceived the German bombers who bombed the fake harbor!!! A brilliant man, Maskelyne was a master of deception. As for camouflage for his fake tanks in the desert where no paint was available- he used spoiled steak sauce mixed with camel dung patterns!!! Resourceful to a fault!!!!
Magic-Germans were fooled
all in the mind

Decoy tanks and planes made of wood
Odd reception
‘T was old deception

Maskelyne handled it
His skill did astound
Rubber/cardboard handy
Convinced Germans Brit forces were found

[Bombed dummy materials on ground]

Magic-Germans were fooled
all in the mind
In desert clime

Made them fools
Made them fools
Made them fools
And just for believing
Mirrors to scare
Armor approaching
Threat deceiving

[Tanks retreating]

Trickery
Magic-Germans were fooled
all in the mind
(Maskelyne made 700 ft fake battleship fantasy)

[And Alexandria’s Port moved in vicinity!!!
Note: Although the Germans were fooled, THEY also made fake landscapes to cover large parts of major cities and had their own decoy wooden aircraft and tanks. The Germans in the West mounted fake wood turrets on Panthers with US markings to look like Shermans and also practiced "playing dead in a ditch" with guns depressed and open hatches as Allied and Soviet tank columns passed by only to attack from the rear out of range! And Skorzeny's commandos who spoke English changed the road signs in the Ardennes and used MP uniforms to trick moving US convoys, sending them in the wrong directions.

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User Comments

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Max Power - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
It's actually somewhat of a legend since no one really knows if its the truth. Only account was from Jasper Maskelyne and no one knows how much of what he said was true. Would be amazing if it is though.
Rob Arndt - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Hate to disagree strongly b/c I specialize in war but the photographic record backs him up. There are many pics of his rubber tanks, wooden aircraft, the 700 ft long fake battleship from an aerial view, and his tank conversions to fake trucks. There's also his rank of second Lt. of the Royal Engineers and his assistants were known as the "Magic Gang". There are many books out on him and his feats. Most people just don't know about the many secret wars within WW2. Heck, most people I meet don't know that the Germans had jet aircraft and every type of missile in WW2 , let alone experimental disc craft beyond jet engine technology! Ask just about anyone what the V-3, V-4, and V-5 weapons were and you'll get a blank stare. Tell them the Germans had prototype rail guns, EM cannons, electric guns, maglev trains, thermobaric weapons, FAEs, exotic gases, stealth, an Intercontinetal communications system BEFORE the Internet, and radiological weapons... and they think you are crazy. What IS crazy is the 1945 brain-drain of Germany, patents stolen, and lies told by the USAF and US Govt. over what it captured. German disc craft are classified until 2020 and Jonastal S.III complex until 2045 by the AEC. The Coler Free-Energy battery is the only one recorded in history that worked (just like the 1942 German Schmid Ornithopter over Munich) but in their BIOS Report made postwar when Coler reconstructed it, list it as working... but that they did not know by what means!!! And lastly, as I listed, the Germans pulled off deception as well. The photographic record backs them up too!
Patrick - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Once saw a US Army Aggressor Force manual with photos of inflatable trucks and tanks used in field exercises. 1940's National Geographic had aerial photo of California aircraft factory, underground, with suburban neighborhood built on top to deceive possible Japanese recon planes. "Quaker" cannons in the US Civil War, made from wood. Read story in gun magazine of yachtsman who saw suspicious boat lurking near his anchorage. Took a couple plastic water pistols, spray painted them black and stuck them in his belt. The other boat quickly moved away. Deception has always been a part of warfare.
Rob Arndt - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick, that's right- the California war plant was Lockheed's and both the British and US tried "Dazzle" camouflage on ships and planes for visual deception. The Germans disguised many installations along the French coast from '42 onwards and Berlin had huge camouflage netting to cover war plants.
Dean Piper - January 09, 2014 - Report this comment
i can vouch for this. My Nan worked during the war making fake wooden/cardboard planes etc to fool the german recon planes when they flew over.

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