SCARECROW:
I’d apply it in the showers
Absorb its hair growth powers
Then rinse it down the drain
And my head I’d be scratchin’
While my new hair was a-hatchin’
If I only had Rogaine

I’d be glad for just a little
On this bare patch in the middle
Don’t need no furry mane

DOROTHY:
With your bald spot a-shrinkin’
You could have that afro kinkin’
If you only had Rogaine

SCARECROW:
Oh, I would say goodbye
To this hat that I’ve wore
I would never have to pay a two-bit whore
‘Cause with the chicks — I’d always score

I would not be all hangdoggin’
My bald and shiny noggin’
My face all flushed with shame
I would be much more hairy
And this dumb hat I could bury
If I only had Rogaine