This Ole Mouse once buttoned porno
This Ole Mouse once ruled the web
He ran up and down those deep throats
Played touchdown with Dallas Deb
He was lightning on the Internet
Scared Pop-Ups half to death..
Now, he falters on the mouse pad
Just a rodent out a' breath..

Ain't a-gonna use this mouse no longer
Aint a-gonna use this mouse no more
Bought a brand new wireless job
At the Circuit City store..
Smooth and shiny with three buttons,
It's a cursor movin' Saint
This new mouse just makes the old one
Look like he was stuck in paint..

This Ole Mouse was actin' weary
This Ole Mouse was three years old
In Mouse years that totals eighty
Worn and wrinkled, hard to hold
Every time I'd try to log on
He got shaky in the knees
Couldn't keyboard cool in chat rooms
Like an ice cube, he would freeze..

I ain't a-gonna' use this mouse no longer
Ain't a-gonna' use this mouse no more
Bought a fancy tail-less model
At the Circuit City store
Smooth and shiny, three hot buttons
He's a cursor movin' Saint
Ain't a-gonna use that mouse no longer
Felt like he was stuck in paint..

This Ole Mouse used to goof and blunder
This Ole Mouse used to move like worms
Had a wobbly wheel down under
Was bacteria'd with germs
Still, I have to give him credit
Though he isn't worth his salt
In his day, he was my hero
Just like Mickey was to Walt..

Ain't a-gonna need this mouse no longer
Ain't a-gonna need this mouse no more
My new rat's sharp as a Lincoln
He's a porno surfin whore..
Now, I chat room, Now, I cyber
This Ole Mouse has seen his day
Still ain't got the heart to trash him
Think I'll sell him on eBay

Think I'll sell him on eBay..