Friends, Family, lend me your attention, please..
I'm here to make miracles bubble now,
They'll make waves, something grand from my own hand
Please relax a while and chill
Not too long from now, you'll thrill
when, It's gonna' feast your eyes, that Lima River, so grand!

(Bread and bun roll)

Believe, Dear ones, how could Paula Deen,
Ever hope to compete
With such fine ham bones -
Ta-ta, a la, la, la, la, la, oompah!
Just ponder, Dear ones, what a bowlful of my ham/bean stew
Will do to your appetites, prime teasing till
Your intestinal wall will be rumblin' round!
Oh, a bowl will do it, my friends, oh yes, I mean a large bowl,
Maybe seconds..
I say this old kitchen's gonna' rock like I planned
We shall be feastin', today!
A tasty mess a' ham n' beans are on hand,
And they are gonna' be grand..
As sure as the Lord made Baby Limas!
You are all gonna' be in hunger-form - Grandpa, Hubert, Bubba, Ned -
And you'll hear the splashes of filling rim-bowls
Then there'll be the spooning of fingers - thumbs
Great glimmer of ham bones! ta ta ta!
You will taste something akin to an ecstatic thrill never before enjoyed
By anyone, anywhere, anytime, since the great creator
Made good eats handy to fill up you - suh!
In a few short hours, this will be a historic day!


Heavenly thick ham bones
Tenderly, I lay
In a couple a' pounds of soaked lima beans
Pretty soon they'll be piping hot
In my kitchen cooking pot, here
At home, somewhere in New Orleans

Heavenly thick ham bones
Lib'ral rich lean meat
From our Prize winning Fair hog's firm big behind
Pork developed from Fall corn feeds
Grown of hybrid seeds
Sacrificed - hope PETA doesn't mind..

In my copper bottom kettle they'll, of course, cook soon
Gurgling, gurgling - low, like horses neigh
Limas from the garden batch - picked early June,
Supper soon, big bowls, to spoon away..

Hope to hear some complimenting & much flattery
Rib stacking, lip smacking, - bean frenzy, galore
Old bean vets, well seasoned guys
With held-out bowls, and anxious eyes,
Will treat tongues and soon yell, "Gimme more!

(Simmering break)

Buzzardly clean ham bones hit the countertop
Transferred from pot to pots of the group
Very soon there'll be tunes of gas
Played from stuffed butts - when they pass
All that's left of my good Lima soup.

All that's left of my good Lima soup.