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Song Parodies -> "Tae a Fart"
Original Song Title:
"Tae a Mouse"
Original Performer:
Robbie Burns
Parody Song Title:
"Tae a Fart"
Parody Written by:
Rabbi Burns
The Lyrics
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas,
Start workin like a gentle breeze,
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place.
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae,
A'body's gonn hae tae pay,
Even if ye try to stifle,
It's like a bullet oot a rifle.
Hawed yer bum tight tae the chair,
Tae try and stop the leakin air,
Shift hersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it doesnae leak.
But aw yer efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder,
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me! A sonic boom!
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvne shit ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw, whit the hell, it's no my worry.
A'body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or twa are nearly bokin
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile.
Wis him! I shout with accusin glower,
Alas! Too late he's just keeled ower.
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare,
A feel welcome nae mair.
Were e're ye go, let yer wind gang free,
Sounds like just the job for me,
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o wan we farty!
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas,
Start workin like a gentle breeze,
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place.
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae,
A'body's gonn hae tae pay,
Even if ye try to stifle,
It's like a bullet oot a rifle.
Hawed yer bum tight tae the chair,
Tae try and stop the leakin air,
Shift hersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it doesnae leak.
But aw yer efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder,
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me! A sonic boom!
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvne shit ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw, whit the hell, it's no my worry.
A'body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or twa are nearly bokin
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile.
Wis him! I shout with accusin glower,
Alas! Too late he's just keeled ower.
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare,
A feel welcome nae mair.
Were e're ye go, let yer wind gang free,
Sounds like just the job for me,
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o wan we farty!
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555 tae ye
i wonder what Robbie Burns would think. Eeexcelent!
Thank you Rabbi, just back from a Burns night where I read your poem ( a slightly modified version I'm afraid ) went down a treat, you're a very clever person.
Thanks for the reference, Alan. The rabbi is quite un-Orthodox. I wish I had been at Burns night. Sounds like grand fun. Come this way again. I know you can be counted on not to be one of the vermin -- a wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie. I'm truly sorry their dominion/Has broken virtu'l social union.
Your congregants suspected that you were brilliant, and spoke many languages including scattish. So where' the followup to this one-off wonder?
Apparently, this parody, which is all over the Internet, was copied to AIR.
Thanks Mickey. A link to "scotCLANS" suggests that this chef d'oeuvre was authored by a well-known contributor here.
The Tae a Fert poem was written by my Dad, Willie Gray. I have to admit that until today I’d been ignorant to this fact, believing it to be the work of some other poetic genius. Proud to be able to finally give credit where it’s due.
An amusing take on the Bard, though it isn't a true parody because it doesn't reproduce the verse form of To a Mouse, or Address to a Haggis. This squib has become quite famous, and it should be attributed to the author. Teresa Collie: who's your dad, Willie Gray? And when actually was the poem written? I ask because I'd like to include it in an anthology of Scots I've been compiling, with full attribution.
Hullo Teresa, thanks for your message. Can you let me know when your father actually wrote this. Its been doing the rounds for some time now. Always wanting to give credit where credit is due.
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