I could lounge outside for hours
enjoying all the flowers
and not slide to the grass.
And my cheeks could be a-sleepin'
While my cell phone was a-beepin'
If I only had an ass.

I'd get back at every dufus
who said I had no tuckus
and said I had no class
With the butt that I'd showing
I could do my own J. Lo'ing
If I only had an ass.

Oh I could wear a thong
and go to clubs where I'd belong
I could boogie like I've never done before
And then I'd shake, and shake some more.

I would not be just a nothin'
My jeans all full of stuffin'
and me a lonely lass
I would laugh and I'd be crooning
The whole world I'd be mooning
If I only had an ass.