Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

These pants aren't tight, dude, quite true
I'm happy for the gift, they're gonna need a fix
Not tight, dude, quite true
Won't cover up my ass and nobody should see that
Not tight, dude, quite true
The whole damn point of pants is to stay up, so I'm mad
Not tight, dude, quite true (quite true, mmm)

Oh, man, this is the opposite of dandy (dandy)
Kinda pissed because you went and pantsed me (eeh-eeh)
Yeah, you weren't there to pull 'em right down and flee (and flee)
But you were the one to give me the pants, please, that's cheap (wow)
And I don't have the hips like a lady that has been animated
Room each side of the waist, see, to hold large-sized dinner plates, geez
You ignoramus, you should know I'm not round, please (ooh-ooh)
What, I'd grow into it? I need more than a frown, geez (frown, geez)
Dude, I'm not two, I'm the one size, I'd need to eat enough to stop my heart to reach
All the X's that this label says (the dumb label says)

These pants aren't tight, dude, quite true (quite true)
There's no way that I'll fit without a massive cinch (whoo)
Not tight, dude, quite true (quite true)
I'm gonna show my ass in the two ways one means that
Not tight, dude (mmm), quite true (quite true)
I'm hopin' that you grabbed the receipt, if not, so mad
Not tight, dude, quite true (mmm, mmm, mmm, quite true)

I know what you'll tell me (hmm)
That puttin' on a belt's what I need, mate (ah, ah)
But you know what I see?
A lack of loops to help with that, geez, I
Also noticed that these have no elastic to see
And they don't have ropes attached, all it seems
There's no adjustin' this, they're just slack, friggin' cheap
In your hand, you've gotta bunch of little pegs for me?
Oh, you shouldn't have, I mean that lit'rally
Won't risk pinchin' on my downstairs, please
Only fix I wanna see is to take it in
Don't want you doin' that
Since you're stupid, might overdo all that (you fool, fool)
So far in, can't get past my shoes, you prat (shoes, might shoes)
Where'd you buy it? I won't give you a clap (where)
"It's the thought that counts"? Only tools say that, ayy
When they didn't have a thought, foolish crap, ayy
Get me a replacement or we won't be friends, might be long, long lines
I don't mind, won't be me, it's on you for that

These pants aren't tight, dude, quite true (quite true)
Was happy for the gift but you're bein' a prick
Not tight, dude, quite true (quite true)
Don't say that I'm just mad that you only got me pants (buddy, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Not tight, dude, quite true (quite true)
I'd rather they squeeze nads than drop down to show the sack
Not tight, dude, quite true (quite true, mm, quite true)
I swear if you confess that you
Was gifted them but they were too huge
And so you thought that I wouldn't care, I do (yeah, I really do)
They're not tight, dude, quite true (quite true)
What should I do with them? Might put 'em 'round your neck
Not tight, dude, quite true (quite true, mm, quite true)

Not tight, dude
Don't want 'em now, they're too huge