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Song Parodies -> "Roswell Flying Saucer"

Original Song Title:

"Oscar Mayer Weiners"

Original Performer:

Oscar Mayer Weiner Commercial

Parody Song Title:

"Roswell Flying Saucer"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I'm poking fun here at the USAF for lying three times in "Official Reports" of the Roswell crash being just a weather balloon, then high altitude test using dummies, and then a Cold War spy balloon. Facts support that it was a craft that impacted violently with the earth and burned all night. The debris field was extensive and combed by the US Army while Roswell was sealed-off and a heavy loadlifter was brought in to carry the center section fro shipment back to Wright Field under tight security. It wasn't even a flying saucer- it was a delta-shaped craft with anti-radar grooves cut into the bottom of it and it had a cockpit section that broke off when it crashed. Rumors are that it came from Nazi Germany and that is remarkably similar to the proposed Horten X design, plan 3... only the USAF wanted to launch it off a carrier or other ship in the Pacific by FUGO-type balloon to high altitude and then drift over the USSR for spy missions. Once completed, it would jettison the balloon and using a small rocket motor in the tail boost-glide back to the Pacific to be recovered and film processed on the carrier for quick return back to the US mainland. So far, the USAF has lied three times and still can't get the story straight. The little bodies? Nothing more than the three crew that burned to death all night soaked in jet or rocket fuel, their limbs gone and helmets fused to the skull, making the impression of grotesque monsters. The mystery material that didn't burn? Small amounts of German Luftschwamm aerosponge to eliminate air intakes if it had a small turbojet and/or suck air through the craft for added propulsion or manoeuverability. It was anything but alien...
Oh, I'd love to see the Roswell flying saucer
Derived from Nazi technology
'Cause if I saw the Roswell flying saucer
No more bullsh*t conspiracies!!!

Oh, I'd love to see the Roswell flying saucer
Was delta-shaped in reality
'Cause if I saw the Roswell flying saucer
To hell with AF Reports 1-3!!!

No balloons, dummies, or meteorology,
More like a modified Horten X, version III...


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Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 22

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User Comments

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TJC - December 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Very interesting intro and parody--I laughed *and* learned!
Rob Arndt - December 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Anyone that has seen the end of the Horten line and the 1945 designs isn't surprised by the real Roswell configuration which was delta. AND... the Third Reich had disc craft in WW2 as well. The only thing the USAF got right was a balloon as the lifting device for a spy craft. But a balloon no matter how big doesn't leave a massive debris trail, impact craters, nor requires a US Army loadlifter to carry a fuselage section back to Wright under armed guard. A balloon destroyed doesn't require the US Army to seal the town and put on a phoney PR campaign of disinformation to dispute what lay wrecked on the rancher's property. Another craft spotted earlier over NM looks almost identical to the Horten Parabola and in NM is where top-secret German weapons were sent after being processed through Wright, so German aircraft and missiles were already there on '47 moving on over to Edwards and then up to Groom Lake...
Saddam Hussein Has a Nuc-U-Ler Rocket Aimed At Our Butts! Oh No! *** NOT! - December 14, 2012 - Report this comment
You have the pacing and new lyrics real good, but I think the "Roswell incident" occured either in 1947 or 1949. By that time the Nazis were defeated and WWII was over. Also, a simple weather balloon doesn't require quaranteeing and cleaning up a town but an alien starship would. I don't believe every UFO story these Famous 15 Minute Stars say but governments in general wouldn't like to admit to having contact with people from other planets because that would tell the citizens that there's unknown people in outer space that they don't know much about and whom they can't CONTROL. It's a power thing. Beyond that, which is God - well, we know that politicians LOVE to manipulate Him for their benefit, don't we?
Rob Arndt - December 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Dear sir, while I respect your belief system and POV concerning claimed non-terrestrial life and the Roswell connection, your lack of knowledge on the extent of Third Reich technology and postwar development as well as the entire UFO historical record backed up by stats shows. Since I specialize in Third Reich tech and am known for it worldwide, having been consulted through Black Sun by the Discovery Channel, UFO Hunters, and the producers of the Iron Sky movie on German disc aircraft history and design... I feel like we should go through the UFO history and alien claims chronologically. Prior to the 1947 incident was Kenneth Arnold's sighting of a group of mysterious aircraft flying together in formation, led by a single different configuation aircraft. A newspaper man coined the term "flying saucer" when in fact the drawings of the craft show a formation of crescent-shaped flying wings led by almost a direct copy of the WW2 German Ho-IX jet flying wing. Since the US was still testing and developing high German tech from 1945-the 1950s, the comparison is valid. Before that we come to WW2 German tech that involved both disc aircraft (Flugscheiben in many forms) as well as what became known as "Foo Fighters" that were in the ETO and PTO (the latter via German U-Boat tech transfer). Those were ovoids, sphericals, a manned craft, and a anti-radar balloon all grouped under the same term. The US Govt hid these weapons under the false single designation of PHOO BOMBS foiling FOIA requests and inquiries for decades. In the 2000s the craft were discovered in a US Intel file "German Capabilities in 1945." The disc craft started as early as 1922 with a machine called the JFM and progressed with the RFZ series and then more advanced Vril and Haunebu designs with EMG engine mixed with a mass-reduction system, levitors, and a free-energy Coler battery/converter. Other disc craft were prop (Sack AS-6 V1), jet driven (Miethe designs and BMW Flugelrad series), or had mixed powerplants (Fleissner Dusenscheibe). And yet others remained as patents (Focke Schnellflugzeug Rochen and Trenn Flying Platform), experimental discoid motors (Schauberger Repulsin A & B), disc autogyros (Schriever Flugkreisel), or windtunnel models (Epp Omega Diskus and Coanda Lenticular). So the Germans started all of this. Prior to their work, it was the Italians under Mussolini that established the first UFO investigation team with Cabinet RS/33 that documented strange craft in Italian skies from 1933-1940 (work was handed over to the Germans in 1940)! And prior to that there were a wide range of circular or annular man-made flight machines that were prop driven. Before the 20th century the alien UFO nonsense is a matter of interpretation from artworks and other questionable sources- none reliable. So back to 1947 and the term UFO which originated from the military as U-Foe (Unknown Foe usually spotted as a radar blip). That morphed into UFO (Unidentified Flying Object) which can mean anything unknown flying in the skies. As Project Blue Book pointed out in the '60s: 80% of all UFO reports can be explained fairly quickly, leaving just 20% unknow. Of that 20%, 10% (or half) are exposed hoaxes, leaving 10% unknown of which 5% (again half) are explained at a latter time due to technology advances, leaving just 5%. Of that 5% around 2-3 % are sightings of classified USAF blackcraft leaving a paltry 2-3% never explained. And sad to say it probably is a sure bet that a percentage of hoaxers get away with fakes using various techniques. Blurred images for instance cannot accurately estable range, altitude, speed, etc... so they remain questionable. From my personal experiences with a dad working with US Intel and their conversations as well as first hand knowledge of a few SAPs (Special Access Programs/Projects)... never ran into any discussions about non-terrestrial tech but plenty for German tech STILL classified. The German disc tech is classified until 2020 by the USAF and a secret complex (Jonastal S.III) meant for building exotic tech and German nuclear weapons is classified until 2045 by the AEC! The USAF has lied about the German "Foo Fighters/PHOO BOMBS", has lied about the German Flugscheiben for 50 years until admission in 1995, and has lied about several other aviation firsts like stealth (Feb 1945- Horten IX jet flying wing using RAM and anti-radar paint), who broke Mach 1 first (the Germans in 1945 with the Lp.13b or Me-163 and 262 aircraft in dives, supported by page 13 of Wright Field's 1946 Report on the Me-262), and German spaceflight efforts in 1945 (Draeger space suits, EMW A-series spacecraft designs, the Sanger Silbervogel, and other things like German satellite designs, shuttle designs, orbiting space station and weapons designs)! So here is just the tip of a huge iceberg of information for you to digest. If you would like to discuss further I suggest going to a NG as this site's comment boxes are not for that type of discussion.
Rob Arndt - December 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Ho-XIII: http://d951443.u114.weberz.com/images/Horten_XIII/ho_xiii_a_in_flight.jpg Ho Parabola: http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/pictureso/me10.jpg Lippisch DM-1: http://airandspace.si.edu/images/collections/media/full/19590098000a.JPG Zippermayer Pfeil under construction: http://cruiser.greyfalcon.us/pictures/200.jpg
Meriadoc - December 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Well, I'm sure glad THAT mystery is cleared up...

Now if we could only solve the princes in the tower.
Wendy Christopher - December 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Lesson learned for the USAF (we hope): if you're gonna do a lie to cover up the sensitive truth, at least make it a good one - otherwise the conspiracy theorists will out-weird you! (Am I allowed to say that, as a Brit? We're not much better when it comes to cover-ups, so maybe not..!) A tasty little nugget here, Rob - here's a conspiracy-free 555
Rob Arndt - December 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks all :)

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