[Full House:]
This is one vid' TV station that you won't ever survive
I'll beat you, cancel you then send you to syndication
You'll be good at rapping some day, I was correct bro
But for now, just stick to editing that highly bizarre Monday Show
I'll destroy your water color vehicles, eat 'em for breakfast
Then leak to YouTube your middle name is Ingalls
I can tell you're scared just from the body language I'm reading
You should start leaving, look, your hairline's already retreating
Little House on the Prairie? Who's that? No one gives two pies
Everyone knows your page is just the place that rap battles live
Dude you're really huge on YouTube, you got a great career
But remember you got famous off of my idea

[Little House on the Prairie:]
The battles were your idea to start with, that's no lie
But I'm the one who had the brains to let a midget play the bad guys
Look at you or let me just tell you what I see
You're a short little sidekick, I'll call you mini-me
I drew a mustache on your face and you played a mean Hitler
Take the mustache away, you look more like Bette Midler
You big tooth, chompy face, horse looking disaster
You and Bill O'Reilly can both suck my spaghetti!

[Full House:]
You're taller than I am but you look up to me
The guy who got you your first job in comedy

[Little House on the Prairie:]
I wrote your best verses for you, let you scream on the chorus
You've got as much music talent as Chuck screaming Norris

[Full House:]
You? A musician? Eh, that's kinda stretching
You wrote eighty-seven songs with the same chord progression

[Little House on the Prairie:]
You look like a 1980s girl, where'd you even come from?
It's like I'm battle rapping a skinny version of Ronnie Anne

[Full House:]
I'm gonna knock you right outta your little Superman socks
You were nothing before you rode up on Laura Ingalls Wilder‘s Avenue

[Little House on the Prairie:]
Man, you don't even have to say that kind of trash
Screw the rap battles and you, I quit!

"The Loud House?"

[Full House:]
"Oh, that’s kinda wrong!"

[Little House on the Prairie:]
"Not only are you not gonna quit the rap battles Full House
You're gonna make them bigger, you're gonna make them better
You're gonna put them on their own channel"

[Full House:] "I guess we could make like a second season-"
[The Loud House:] "Yes, exactly! And you, what's your name? I wanna say The Loud House?"
[Little House on the Prairie:] "Um, Little House on the Prairie"
[The Loud House:] "You should start a YouTube channel"
[Little House on the Prairie:] "I have one-"
[The Loud House:] "Great!"
[Full House:] "But what am I supposed to put on my channel?"
[Little House on the Prairie:] "How about you make music Full House? You know, like you used to?"
[Full House:] "Okay, ow-"