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Song Parodies -> "Ralph Kramden vs. George Costanza"
Original Song Title:
"Epic Rap Battles of History"
Original Performer:
Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd
Parody Song Title:
"Ralph Kramden vs. George Costanza"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
They share more than an New York City residence and a general physical shape. Note that, while the Kramdens' and Nortons' address of 328 Chauncey Street is real, it's actually in Bushwick, not Bensonhurst like it was so often said on "The Honeymooners."
Epic Rap Battles of History!
Ralph Kramden!
vs....
George Costanza!
Begin!
(George)
I'm gonna smack this bus driver
in his jowls and belly
coming angry like an old man
sending back soup at a deli!
You're a Bushwick bum
and you live in a slum!
I live on the Upper West Side
and work in Yankee Stadium!
You're an overrated bowler
and you can't play the trumpet
while Jerry and I both
schtupped Alice, what a strumpet!
You look wack in your golf clothes
shaking your chubby pelvis
like the 1977
version of Elvis!
(Ralph)
Oh, a wisenheimer, are ya?
You're a mental case!
You're goin' to the Moon
like The Man From Space!
Your old gym teacher's not
the only one who "can't stand ya!"
You produce fewer laughs
than that lame Kenny Bania!
I'm a Raccoon Lodge man
in my uniform, looking nifty
while you'd never last
in New York in the Fifties!
I'll drive my fist right through ya
like my bus was off course!
You ain't no Van Buren Boy
and you are gonna get yours!
(Georgie Boy)
Well, the Jerk Store called
and they're running out of you!
Your rhymes are as flat
as Flatbush Avenue!
I'm sick on this mike
like the measles Norton gave you
and your pool-playing skills
sure aren't gonna save you!
George is gettin' upset
and I'm comin' back hardened.
I'll knock you to Hong Kong
and I don't mean the Gardens!
My NBC show beats
yours on CBS.
Winning this battle? Ha!
It was no "contest!"
(Ralphie Boy)
You said it yourself:
You're Lord of the Idiots!
Even my pal Norton
would have to agree with it!
You're a worthless schlub
who can't hold a job!
Even I have the street cred
to call you a slob!
I'm a Notorious B.I.G.
from Brooklyn U.S.A.
and I'm killin' it like you did
your high-society fiancée!
I'm a regular riot.
You're a sidekick who smells.
Beatin' this bum was
a mere bag of shells!
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic...
Har har HAR de har har!
Rap Battles of History!
Ralph Kramden!
vs....
George Costanza!
Begin!
(George)
I'm gonna smack this bus driver
in his jowls and belly
coming angry like an old man
sending back soup at a deli!
You're a Bushwick bum
and you live in a slum!
I live on the Upper West Side
and work in Yankee Stadium!
You're an overrated bowler
and you can't play the trumpet
while Jerry and I both
schtupped Alice, what a strumpet!
You look wack in your golf clothes
shaking your chubby pelvis
like the 1977
version of Elvis!
(Ralph)
Oh, a wisenheimer, are ya?
You're a mental case!
You're goin' to the Moon
like The Man From Space!
Your old gym teacher's not
the only one who "can't stand ya!"
You produce fewer laughs
than that lame Kenny Bania!
I'm a Raccoon Lodge man
in my uniform, looking nifty
while you'd never last
in New York in the Fifties!
I'll drive my fist right through ya
like my bus was off course!
You ain't no Van Buren Boy
and you are gonna get yours!
(Georgie Boy)
Well, the Jerk Store called
and they're running out of you!
Your rhymes are as flat
as Flatbush Avenue!
I'm sick on this mike
like the measles Norton gave you
and your pool-playing skills
sure aren't gonna save you!
George is gettin' upset
and I'm comin' back hardened.
I'll knock you to Hong Kong
and I don't mean the Gardens!
My NBC show beats
yours on CBS.
Winning this battle? Ha!
It was no "contest!"
(Ralphie Boy)
You said it yourself:
You're Lord of the Idiots!
Even my pal Norton
would have to agree with it!
You're a worthless schlub
who can't hold a job!
Even I have the street cred
to call you a slob!
I'm a Notorious B.I.G.
from Brooklyn U.S.A.
and I'm killin' it like you did
your high-society fiancée!
I'm a regular riot.
You're a sidekick who smells.
Beatin' this bum was
a mere bag of shells!
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic...
Har har HAR de har har!
Rap Battles of History!
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Voting Breakdown
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| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 10 | 10 | 10 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Glad to see Kenny Bania made it into this one. He's the best, Jerry, he's the best.
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