While shepherds watched their flocks so white
All contemplating dusk,
Their ’phones received some breaking news
All thanks to Elon Musk.
His Tweet announced a virgin birth
In a stable by an inn,
They danced around the windswept heath
To a flute and violin.

In Bethlehem was born a child
A-sleeping in a crib,
They scrolled the Twitter crowd’s response
And thought it rather glib.
The innkeeper was quite concerned
That crowds would congregate,
Quick-thinking Joseph found some wood
And made an extra gate.

A star was shining overhead
That none had seen before,
No pundit was prepared to talk -
Not even Patrick Moore.
The stationers caught unawares -
They hadn’t got a clue;
A strong demand for calendars
For ADs One and Two.

The cattle started lowing -
As only livestock can -
The news spread fast across the plains
To every working man.
The shepherds all were gobsmacked as
Emotions ran so deep,
The spectacle of three wise men
Sure beats watching sheep.

A cub reporter scrambled
As the iPhone users scrolled,
Instructed to get pictures of
Some frankincense or gold.
The wondrous child lay fast asleep
In swaddling clothes and fur,
A shawl fell from His mother’s back
As she spied the gift of myrrh.

When wise men booked rooms overnight
The licensee did smile,
But camels tethered in his yard
Left a substantial pile.
The faith that followed Jesus’ birth
Did prosper and endure,
But spare a thought for stable lads
Recycling that manure.