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Song Parodies -> "Troll Me, Mill Me, Snip Me"
Original Song Title:
"Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Mel Carter
Parody Song Title:
"Troll Me, Mill Me, Snip Me"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
Mold me, troll me,
Render me a gnome until I’m, wholly moly!
Shorter that that gnome who wants to scold me, bold me
When I tell him L. Ron’s loose a screw.
Mill me, drill me,
Put me on a lathe until I fill three, frill-free
Feet of ugly clothes, quite strange I will be, milled me,
Then I’ll hide beneath a bridge. . .scare you.
He told me I’m not measurable for my new duds. . .
“Must be tooled. . .six, six: nix, nix—nor five!”
Very tall I stood. So he barked: “Let us hew—
We must take off some from arms
And scythe him lower; out with his charms!”
Snipped me, snipped me,
“About 3’ 2”, you know, you’ll be!” then quipped he, lipped he.
“To lengthy legs, say adieus,” then ripped he, stripped me.
Made me elfin-sized like Tom Thumb Cruise.
Render me a gnome until I’m, wholly moly!
Shorter that that gnome who wants to scold me, bold me
When I tell him L. Ron’s loose a screw.
Mill me, drill me,
Put me on a lathe until I fill three, frill-free
Feet of ugly clothes, quite strange I will be, milled me,
Then I’ll hide beneath a bridge. . .scare you.
He told me I’m not measurable for my new duds. . .
“Must be tooled. . .six, six: nix, nix—nor five!”
Very tall I stood. So he barked: “Let us hew—
We must take off some from arms
And scythe him lower; out with his charms!”
Snipped me, snipped me,
“About 3’ 2”, you know, you’ll be!” then quipped he, lipped he.
“To lengthy legs, say adieus,” then ripped he, stripped me.
Made me elfin-sized like Tom Thumb Cruise.
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
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Travelocity™ has nothing on this spoof. I gnome a good write when read one. What's with the "Shrimpee's, Gnomes and Wees" today, JB? I think I can stretch this into a size 5 but your wee friends may have a slight baggy look to 'em. I enjoyed your stuff today as usual. Well writ.
Many thanks, Guy!
hey thomCruise is again NumberOne at the box office w/CarmenDiaz ! ! . . . but you know that I prefer the 'Clunkers' as in MrLIEV ! !
oh, those BigClunkers . . . ~ ~ ~ > LievSchreiber ~ ~ ~ > Barry Mr b-V-d ~ ~ ~ > cBros for sure, Sir ! !
Nice play on L. Ron and Tom Cruise, very cleaver! I mean, clever...!
I liked the send-ups of L. Ron and T. Cruise, didn't understand anything in between, but that was enough for 555.
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