You got a bad bar
Left broken beer bottle shards ev'rywhere
Gonna stick in my heels
No, I'm not barefoot, got solid footwear
Only that much better
Still prefer zero glass stuck in my shoes
Just the start of my list
Of reasons why I won't come in, dude

You got a bad bar
The smell's pretty bad, can tell from way out here
Stale vomit has been left on the floor
Pretty bad stains, that alone would smell real funky
But that's only one part
Also got leftover food mess, it ain't pretty
But you're too cheap to give a job
To keep it clean, just a fortnightly spritzin'

Speakin' of food, there's a problem:
Your menu is awful, just the way it is
5-star Michelin's not expected
There's too much upchuck for alcoholics
How can this basic selection
Of meat and veg and fries turn out like this?
I think somebody's skimped on ingredients
The same dumb fool who burnt it to shit

You got a bad bar
Really need to shut the whole place down someday
Bet it won't be your decision
Since you're kinda stubborn, not okay

There ain't no damn way that I'll be dinin', dinin' in your bar
It's so bad, shocked that I did it once
Not fun when they pump your stomach
So the fact you're tryin' to give me coupons?
Man, I wanna label this place a dump
I think to landfill sites, that's an insult, real insult, deep insult

You got a bad bar
Let's not get into the clientele
Just dealt with the cops
And I can't yet discuss the court case details, hurts
Because nothin' feels better
Knowin' jerks get what they're deservin'
But more detail must come later
So keep an ear out for news delivered

Bet you'll remember all of the fightin', fightin' in your bar
Windows smashed, so many pool balls shoved
Where they should never be goin'
If you only tried to cut people off when
They try to keep drinkin' when they're all sloshed
Yikes, that's a law for a reason, you putz, such a putz, total putz

You got a bad bar
Little bit shocked you can pay your bills
Since to be honest, you're under par
When it comes to not bein' a huge prick
Kind of a crap bartender
Don't listen to people drownin' woes, cryin'
You scream and ban those folks outta nowhere
But your bad bar keeps the bad clients

Yes, I remember I've seen folks bribin', bribin' in your bar
Both with cash and more illegal stuff
I know I had started pointin'
And no-one in sight even bothered gawkin'
So I cut my visit off really short
I had a feelin' it would never stop, never stop, never stop

You got a bad bar
Is it bad enough to get you locked away?
That cannot be my decision
So goodbye, the fuzz are on their way