My wife's boobs
used to be like Canada
Up and perked at the top of the USA
Now they're hangin' down,
and sorta' Saggin' Like Michigan
With nipples aimed at the ground in a droopy way

Her big butt, too,
It's Saggin' Like Michigan
Wishin' I could be a rich and wealthy man
I'd sure make her
a hot bodied sexy young dish again
I would get her fixed by a plastic surgeon's hand

But, I'm out here in Nebraska,
Scratchin' a poor dirt farm
When I'm wantin' love, these old brown cows,
look better in the barn
Gonna' fatten up the herd,
Wait till the market's higher, then
I'll have 'em make my "Trish" a babe,
Not Saggin' Like Michigan

Ain't told her yet,
She's Saggin' Like Michigan
I just say: "Honey, I'm a savin' cash, for you and me"
'Cause I'm the quiet type,
Ain't gonna' be no bitchin' man
But, when the right time comes, I'll suggest surgery

Just sold the herd
in Souix City, Iowa
We go out to celebrate, dinner and champagne
I tell my "Trish"
I've got a big surprise for ya'
Gonna' get you a make-over job from Doc Lane."

Drive to Omaha, Nebraska
Patricia gets the works
A brand new butt, and brand new boobs,
With firmed up nipple perks
But, now I'm a' wishin'
I still had my old "Trish," again
Cause' the new one left with a guy,
And they're livin' in Michigan

If I could just wish back
My old "Trish",...I'd never wish again
I'm a lonely old man with a sad heart,
Saggin' Like Michigan

Just a lonely old man with a sad heart,
Saggin' Like Michigan..