It's Cap 'n' Trade as the House careens.
We need of course to count the beans,
And court fence-sitters on golf greens
To pass Cap 'n' Trade; how charming.
By speech persuade, don't bow to chance,
Bow to chance, bow to chance.
By speech persuade, allow no chance,
For it's the pet of H. Barry.

It's Cap 'n' Trade as the House careens.
Why, in due course we'll count the beans,
And often spend beyond your means,
So that Cap 'n' Trade's alarming.

On House's floor, 'twas barely won;
"Aye" votes were sought with Capitol gun.
When the PAC money comes, new race I'll run
So I'm not thrust out; that would harm me.
When I said "No," 'Bama divide,
'Bama deride, 'Bama he chide.
When I said "No," 'Bama he cried,
"You'll be shut out by Ed Markey!"

It's Cap 'n' Trade as the House careens.
Why, in due course we'll warn the Greens
That they can give up fondest dreams,
Sew a cap on global warming.

The first time I held out, 'twas chill;
The gavel pounding sapped my will.
I was rattled, yielded up my bill.
If I don't butt out, they could bar me.
Floor managers black-balled me out,
Stalled, did pout, maul and clout.
The party bosses all did shout,
"We'll kick him out of the party!"

On Cap 'n' Trade, much remorse now leans.
You'll plead in force, newborn your screams,
Till Congress gives back stolen means
To the Capitalist army!