Old grandmother's sick in bed today
With real high fever so mighty hot
Had a beautiful dream so rich and sweet
And was dead to the world, but her daughter cared not
Her kid had a sort of a waking way
With a love of his grandmother he was born
To help his brother wake up Grams
Played a lot of loud music every morn.
Chorus: crank up the volume, shout in her bedroom
Stomp the floor 'til her bedroom shakes;
Wasn't it the truth I told you?
Lots of fun when Grandma's awake!

One morning' Grams was rather ill
Her head was heavy which made her shake;
She fell on the mattress with a burning skull
And she went to her bedroom not to wake
They took off her blankets and her sheets
And stomped their shoes upon the bed,
Poured a gallon of ice cubes on her feet
And a bucket of water on her head.
Chorus

The TV turned up all the way
And Mother played with them after lunch
First they brought in M-80s
Some noisy items and things that crunch
Went inside to her room and screamed,
"Such a nice old grandma fast asleep
"Let's see how far that we can go"
"Don'tcha wake her up," said daddy to me!
Chorus

Then me and my mother took up the job
"Oh mother," says dad, "You're wrong, I'm sure"
Mother spit out gum in a glob
And left it stick there on the floor.
And then the war did soon engage
'Twas woman to woman and man to man,
The noise grew loud as father raged
And a noisy eruption soon began.
Chorus

Then later my brother got real wet
When a water balloon flew right at him,
It missed, and falling on the bed
The water scattered over Gram!
Grandma wakes! See how she rises!
Grandmother rising from the bed,
Says, "Screaming and stomping around like babies
Son of a gun! Do you think I'm dead?"

Chorus