THE BLUEGRASS WIDDERS SONG
(I'll Go Chasing Bluegrass Men)

Oh it's winter in the country
And I'm full of Slimfast brew
I'm sick of watching Oprah
And the country dance show too
I'm sitting in my Airstream
Out by the Walmart store
Here comes Ruth in her Subaru
An' she's gonna hear me roar.

CHORUS:
I won't go shopping with you Ruth
But I'll chase them Bluegrass men
I'll put the Swanson's back on ice
and go down to the ComeOn Inn
This trailer's cold
I'm getting old
The bluegrass starts at 10
I won't go shopping with you Ruth
But I'll chase them Bluegrass men


My ex he just got out of jail
and he's staying with a friend
And when she finally throws him out
He'll be out here wanting in
My shotgun's leaning by the door
It's loaded with ought 10
And if he thinks he'll park it here
He's dumber than a hen.

(CHORUS)

The Sons of Bluegrass plays tonight
Them SOB's are cool
Every one's a graduate
of Famous Bluegrass School
They're fast and tight and pick real clean
And the dobro player's cute
He works down to the Dollar Store
and drives the van to boot.

(CHORUS)

I like the 5 string banjo player's
curly yellow hair
And the guitar guy's got groovy licks
and lays them on you fair
And when the juke box plays at break
I think I'll take a chance
I'll sashay to that 5 string man
And ask him if he'll dance.
(CHORUS)
Well here we are Ruth
10 years hence
And we're wives and mothers now.
They call us Bluegrass Widders
cause our husbands still play out.
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday
Down to the ComeOn Inn
I got the one with the yellow hair
But now he's got two chins.
(CHORUS)