ACT 2



[ THE MAIN PART OF THE STAGE IS THE LAIR OF THE LEWD SUBMITTERS. TO THE FRONT RIGHT AND LEFT OF THE STAGE ARE 2 SECTIONED OFF AREAS IN DARKNESS ]



Dialogue 11

[ EVIL WILLIE, IN MASK AND CAPE, PACES THE FLOOR OF HIS EVIL LAIR BEFORE ADDRESSING HIS ARMY OF LEWD SUBMITTERS ]


WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
Bwahahahaha! I have received inside information that the good pirates of AmIRight, led by Major-General Johnny D are about to attack us.


JOHN A. BARRY
How do you know this Wille?


WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
Let's just say I have a spy on the inside.


JOHN A. BARRY
Oh Willie, you are SOOO evil, and SOOO bad!



SONG 12
Click on the Original Song and then its MIDI (song starts after a 13-second intro):
"When I Was A Lad"

Parody by Johnny D

"We're Evil And Bad"


WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
We're evil and bad and worse than worms
And love to spread our pornographic germs!
We'll sleaze your Windows with our randy roars
And we'll punish you with porno made of pigs and whores!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
We'll punish you with porno made of pigs and whores!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
We'll punish you with porno so brazenly
You'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
We'll punish you with porno so brazenly
You'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
We scoff at light and play in the dark
And depraved we all post all our lewd remarks
Perverted wits with a smiling leer --
-- and we often scrawl it better after kegs of beer!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
We often scrawl it better after kegs of beer!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
We often scrawl it better when drunk, you see,
So bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
We often scrawl it better when drunk, you see,
So bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
Perverted wits have gained us some fame
And our art of cruel work we'll soon proclaim
A whoring dollar, and some randy tunes,
Are your crass initiation to our crew of goons!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
Are your crass initiation to our crew of goons!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
That crass initiation made us what we be,
And now we are Submitters of Pornography!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
That crass initiation made us what we be,
And now we are Submitters of Pornography!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
In carnal knowledge I'm superlatively skilled
So they took me in their Submitters-Guild
And when their Submitters-Guild you join
Well, you on-ly think from then on with your groin!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
Well, you on-ly think from then on with your groin!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
But that way of thinking suited me,
And now I'm a Submitter of Pornography!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
And that way of thinking suited he,
And now he's a Submitter of Pornography!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
I grew so lewd that I was sent
To attack King Chucky and his Parliament
I'm always jotting down a randy scrawl
And a clever thought I'm thinking is the best of all

LEWD SUBMITTERS
A clever thought he's thinking is the best of all

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
I thought of battle with the King Chuck-y
He'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
He thought of battle with the King Chuck-y
Who'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
Now lewd-men all, here's cleverness indeed --
Set your font real high, and let your free-thought breed
Let our goal be to fetter with a chain that's lewd
King Chucky, who's a liar and a golden prude!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
King Chucky is a liar and a golden prude!

WILLIE TIT-SWALLOW
Click grossly your mouse, send clever porno please,
And you may slay the pruder ruler King Chuck-y!

LEWD SUBMITTERS
Click grossly our mice, send clever porno please,
And we may slay the pruder ruler King Chuck-y!