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Song Parodies -> "His Name is John 'Johnny D' Smalls"
Original Song Title:
"The Sorceror's Song"
Original Performer:
Gilbert & Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"His Name is John 'Johnny D' Smalls"
Parody Written by:
Stray Pooch
The Lyrics
This is an entry for Stuart's "The Pirates Who Penstanzas" project. It is a tribute to the great Johnny D. Most of the lines refer directly or indirectly to his parodies. You should know that he played Dr. Lyman Hall in "1776" and that he coined the word "Posthumon" as a synonym for "Ghost" in "Cacklin' Ghostie." (Which makes my usage redundant, but hey, it rhymes!) This patter song, as I thought, did in fact send me over the edge. Fortunately, that puts me right at home with the subject . . . :D
Oh, his name is John "Johnny D" Smalls
He's a writer who likes curtain calls.
He'll seldom use curses
in clever-filled verses
(Well, now and then "bitches" or "balls.")
If you want a proud show to get "fixed"
(Or you just want a song about hicks)
You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"
Class of 1776!
He's a first-rate perverter of ditties
And for raising a "posthumon's" shade
With effects that are silly or witty
There's no better pen in the trade.
Smut-filters, he knows the ways of 'em
With such knowledge he never gets burned
He tells all the prudes they can shove 'em (We love 'im!)
And brings us uncensored returns!
For he can parody, villain or charity
Homeland security, falsified purity
Heroic histories, musical mysteries
Halloween Rhapsodies, or colonoscopies,
or colonoscopies.
With matches so magical, porno-puns tragical
Pacing spectacular, humor Star Trek-ular
Tracts gastronomical, flatulence comical
And, if you want it, he
Takes a production and spoofs it in quantity
O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,
If any one's looking for kicks.
You'll find some spectacular tricks!
You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"
Class of 1776!
He can raise you throngs of dongs
(And that without erectors)
And geeky herds of nerds
And crabby, cackling spectres
He can tell the truth - or spoof
The monsters we've all feared, and
He can bramage dains with pains
Or sing you a song of Cir-dan.
Then, he can speculate, on choosing flounder bait
He can make fun of hate, tell how to masturbate,
Sing of chicks who inflate, or techniques to fellate,
Or if he feels sedate
He begs his lover to brand him and flagellate.
But in totality his rationality
Has the morality of all mortality
Showing his malady, spoofing all validly,
Such are his talents, he
Isn't the man to be mired in a fallacy
O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,
His name is John "Johnny D" Smalls
He's a writer who likes curtain calls.
Nobody here curses
His pleasured-filled verses
(Though prob'ly he gets kinky calls.)
If any one's looking for kicks.
You'll find some spectacular tricks!
You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"
Class of 1776!
He's a writer who likes curtain calls.
He'll seldom use curses
in clever-filled verses
(Well, now and then "bitches" or "balls.")
If you want a proud show to get "fixed"
(Or you just want a song about hicks)
You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"
Class of 1776!
He's a first-rate perverter of ditties
And for raising a "posthumon's" shade
With effects that are silly or witty
There's no better pen in the trade.
Smut-filters, he knows the ways of 'em
With such knowledge he never gets burned
He tells all the prudes they can shove 'em (We love 'im!)
And brings us uncensored returns!
For he can parody, villain or charity
Homeland security, falsified purity
Heroic histories, musical mysteries
Halloween Rhapsodies, or colonoscopies,
or colonoscopies.
With matches so magical, porno-puns tragical
Pacing spectacular, humor Star Trek-ular
Tracts gastronomical, flatulence comical
And, if you want it, he
Takes a production and spoofs it in quantity
O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,
If any one's looking for kicks.
You'll find some spectacular tricks!
You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"
Class of 1776!
He can raise you throngs of dongs
(And that without erectors)
And geeky herds of nerds
And crabby, cackling spectres
He can tell the truth - or spoof
The monsters we've all feared, and
He can bramage dains with pains
Or sing you a song of Cir-dan.
Then, he can speculate, on choosing flounder bait
He can make fun of hate, tell how to masturbate,
Sing of chicks who inflate, or techniques to fellate,
Or if he feels sedate
He begs his lover to brand him and flagellate.
But in totality his rationality
Has the morality of all mortality
Showing his malady, spoofing all validly,
Such are his talents, he
Isn't the man to be mired in a fallacy
O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,
His name is John "Johnny D" Smalls
He's a writer who likes curtain calls.
Nobody here curses
His pleasured-filled verses
(Though prob'ly he gets kinky calls.)
If any one's looking for kicks.
You'll find some spectacular tricks!
You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"
Class of 1776!
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| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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That's fantastic, Stray Pooch - I saw it on the MB, but didn't realise it was to a G&S song (you didn't mention one) and thought it may have been on the thread by accident, but General Johnny D's character development is well and truly underway with this - 555 - some great wordplay too
Very well-crafted tribute.
Thank goodness my superlative humility is exceeded only by my utterly self-effacing egolessness, or else this wondrous work of wordsmithing would go straight to my head. ;-D ;-D ;-D Thanks, Stray Pooch!
DK this Johnny whomever guy but, this was well done......555 :-)
Stuart: I saw how the plot was developing, but in truth I did not start out to do a "Johnny" number. I just love that particular G&S song. But the happy coincidence that Johnny's RL name and his Amiright name play off of each other (sort of like "Wellington Wells") and the syllable count matches just made the connection pop right into my head. After that it was just a fun trip through his hundreds of parodies for ideas. John Barry: Thanks. I wanted the patter challenge, and it was a lot of fun to play with. Glad you liked it. Johnny D: I didn't mean to draw attention to you, after all I know you can't stand the spotlight. :D Seriously, it was fun to read through some of your old parodies and try to see how much I could squeeze in (even if sometimes I had to force it). You went for a challenge so I figured I would follow suit. I am only disappoined that I was unable to fit "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" in their SOMEWHERE! Rick C: He's some guy who pops in here now and makes a few parodies and leaves for months. Oh no wait, that's me. . . Hey, but I'm on the friggin' T-shirt! :D
wonderfully written...a nice tribute...5s
Superb Gilbertian use of words: "talents he"/"fallacy"; "want it he"/"quantity", and very high quality throughout: IMO the pick of the G&S so far.
...who's it about, by the way? ;-)
...who's it about, by the way? ;-)
Oh my God. Pooch! How could you? How could you erect a tribute to Johnny without mentioning his greatest work? "The Erection of Edmund Fitzgerald"! As oversights go, that one's bigger than most! That goof is so large, it needs a garage! OK, OK, in all seriousness, this, uh, piece is very much worthy of Johnny's grandeur, not to mention his delusions thereof. We don't want to encourage him too much, though. With Johnny, "swelled head" can have a number of meanings, only some of them funny.
Alvin: Thank you, sir! Phil: Actually, while the "talents he/fallacy" was mine (as were most of the rhymes) I do confess the "want it he/quantity" was the same as the OS. ("And if you want it he makes a reduction for taking a quantity.") Thanks you for the kind comments! Michael: I indirectly referenced that and several other dong songs with the throngs of dongs comment. As for giving Johnny a "swelled head" I figured I'd take the chance. Should such a thing occur I'm sure Joihnny will have it well in hand! Thanks! Another Parody idea up for grabs here: "Who likes Dong Songs? We like Dong Songs."
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