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Song Parodies -> "The Mikado's Song"
Original Song Title:
"A More Humane Mikado"
Original Performer:
Gilbert & Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"The Mikado's Song"
Parody Written by:
Charles Williams
The Lyrics
Here is our new version of The Mikado's song which appeared in our 2012 production of "The Mikado"
Mikado:
A more humane Mikado never
Did in Japan exist,
To nobodys second,
I'm certainly reckoned
A true philanthropist.
It is my very humane endeavour
To make, to some extent,
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment.
My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
All prosy dull society sinners, who chatter and bleat and bore
Are made to see re-runs of 70’s sitcoms, ‘til eyes and brain are sore.
The X Factor singers whose vocal villainies all desire to shirk,
Shall during off-hours exhibit their powers to Madame Tussaud's waxwork.
The model whose boobs are mostly silicone, following a surgical course
Her legs I’ve supplanted, by being transplanted and the donor was a horse
The idiot who, in railway carriages scribbles on window-panes
We’ll see how he suffers, when lashed to the buffers
Of Virgin high-speed trains.
My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
Chorus:
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
Mikado:
The advertising quack who wearies with tales of countless cures,
His balls I've enacted, shall both be extracted with Garden Club secateurs.
The planning official who gave permission for restaurants here by the load
In suits he’s dressed tightly and force-fed twice nightly ‘til trousers and bowels explode.
Estate Agents here whom anyone catches, their doom’s extremely hard
They’re made to dwell, in a house to sell with the walls all smeared in lard
The roof is leaking, the boiler’s broken, the neighbours come from hell
With structural movement, there’s room for improvement and a novelty chime doorbell!
My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
Chorus:
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
A more humane Mikado never
Did in Japan exist,
To nobodys second,
I'm certainly reckoned
A true philanthropist.
It is my very humane endeavour
To make, to some extent,
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment.
My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
All prosy dull society sinners, who chatter and bleat and bore
Are made to see re-runs of 70’s sitcoms, ‘til eyes and brain are sore.
The X Factor singers whose vocal villainies all desire to shirk,
Shall during off-hours exhibit their powers to Madame Tussaud's waxwork.
The model whose boobs are mostly silicone, following a surgical course
Her legs I’ve supplanted, by being transplanted and the donor was a horse
The idiot who, in railway carriages scribbles on window-panes
We’ll see how he suffers, when lashed to the buffers
Of Virgin high-speed trains.
My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
Chorus:
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
Mikado:
The advertising quack who wearies with tales of countless cures,
His balls I've enacted, shall both be extracted with Garden Club secateurs.
The planning official who gave permission for restaurants here by the load
In suits he’s dressed tightly and force-fed twice nightly ‘til trousers and bowels explode.
Estate Agents here whom anyone catches, their doom’s extremely hard
They’re made to dwell, in a house to sell with the walls all smeared in lard
The roof is leaking, the boiler’s broken, the neighbours come from hell
With structural movement, there’s room for improvement and a novelty chime doorbell!
My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
Chorus:
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
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User Comments
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Thanks for being honest about your source. Were you the principal lyricist? I saw Mikado in Norfolk VA recently, with updated lyrics specific to the Hampton Roads area. I've heard that it's a typical practice because the 19th-century British references are now obscure to modern audiences.
Hi Great lyrics! I'm putting together a version myself for performing at friends parties, possibly my local G & S amateur group and an old time music hall evening at my local amateur theatre. I wondered if you'd have any objections to my borrowing from you for my second verse, i.e.: The blaggard who doesn't recycle his trash is a socially deviant man He shall be displaced carried out with the waste and thrown in the garbage can The model whose boobs are mostly silicone after a surgical course Her legs I’ve transplanted by being supplanted with hind quarters from a horse Estate Agents here whom anyone catches their doom’s extremely hard. They’re made to dwell in a house to sell with the walls all smeared in lard The roof is leaking the boiler’s broken the neighbours come from hell With structural movement there’s room for improvement and a novelty chime doorbell!
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