When you're dying to bake a mince pie or a cake
And your oven is run by 'lectricity
It's not gas that you use, for your home they refused
To provide this small basic necessity
So you start recipes feeling not quite at ease
And you mix all the parts with precision
It takes under an hour for the eggs and the flour
To combine with so little decision
Then the butter and spice, measure carefully twice
Stir the batter with vigorous motion
With some grace from above and your motherly love
Verifying your cooking devotion
Not forgetting the yeast and to pre-heat the beast
That will bake your inspired creation
Knowing all of your kin just can't wait to begin
To ingest and enjoy each sensation

As you pop in the pot you know you forgot
There was laundry to put in the dryer
And yes there was more, need to vacuum the floor
And to put some air in the spare tire
The bathtub needs a caulk, take the dog for a walk
Put the cans in recycling containers
And the garden has need to be rid of a weed
And the kid's underwear has some stainers
Your chores are not through, there is still much to do
You have to make beds and do sewing
And since you're still cooking there's no use in looking
At dishes that surely are growing
There is no time for friends since the work never ends
This is no time for one of your panics
Since you're in such demand and it's all you can stand
Hit the head and then gulp down a Zanax

Well, you get some reward like the room and the board
At least that's what your Hubby is saying
For he works at the bank and it's him you must thank
For this home in which you're always staying
There he sits on the sofa, his feet up in loafas
And griping about other nations
It seems like a year since he said to you "Dear
Come with me and we'll have some relations"
And these three stupid cats and the mis'rable brats
That you have to endure, and take care of
All of them are like hogs and the couple of dogs
Are the only ones here that you dare love
You look at that door like a pris'ner of war
And you plan how to make it stay open
As you sit there each day growing older and gray
And devise new techniques for the copin'

You're a physical wreck, from just mopping the deck
And no wonder you ache, cause you need a real break
And you're in a bad mood you forgot all the food
And your husband is pissed, got a slap on the wrist
You've a cramp in your gut and a zit on your butt
And a stink on your shoe from some animal poo
A migraine that's intense and a general sense
That the Gods are with you having fun with

But the ordeal is passed with one shotgun blast
This life was too long ditto, ditto this song
And thank goodness they're both of them done with